Today I was tagged by both Teresa and Sara! And, to be honest, I’m stressing a bit about this one! But first – here are the rules:

Link to the person that tagged you (check)

Post the rules on your blog. (check)

Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog, (this is where my stress is coming from!)

Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs. (this one will be easy ! lol)

Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Seven Random Facts about me…

1) I love to play games like Sudoku, Logic puzzles, crosswords and the like. They help me fall asleep! lol

2) I do not like to cook or bake or anything involving the kitchen. I do like to eat though! 😉

3) I am a bit weird about having things line up properly or be in some sort of order.

4) I do not like small spaces.

5) While I like both tea and coffee – I don’t like to drink either of them until my cup is lukewarm. I know…it’s weird.

6) I’d prefer to stay home than go ANYWHERE. I’m definitely an introvert and am drained by being with people. I need quiet and alone time to recharge. However, this rule doesn’t seem to apply to my knit group – I never get run down when I hang out with them! What’s up with that?!

7) I’m scared about the all the big changes that might happen in 2008. I think it’s the might part that scares me most.

And, I’m tagging:

CC, Angela, Theresa, Lauren, Ashley , Cindy (who’s blog is getting dusty 😉 & Ruth

I was watching Pirates 3 with my boys a few days ago. At one point a storm comes up in the middle of the ocean and it creates a maelstrom. If you’ve never seen one, a maelstrom is a large, swirling whirlpool. It is very powerful. It was stunning.

This morning I found I was CCed on a letter between the foster mom and caseworker.  I was never addressed myself, so it felt like maybe I was (at best) an afterthought or (worse yet) not even supposed to get this email.  It seems pretty strange.

I guess it was her way of updating us on what is happening…or maybe it’s the only way I’m allowed to get information now (she’s still never written me back or replied to any of my other emails so far).  This feels like I was sent someone else’s mail.  I want to know this information but I wish someone was talking to me.  I feel like a nonentity.  I feel like I’m to perpetually keep my life in limbo – ready at any moment to take on this child, but kept at a distance until they need me.

Am I willing to do this?  How long will I play this game by their rules?  How long will I let them throw me into this emotional maelstrom?

If I try to keep an emotional distance – then I worry I won’t be able to bond with this child.

If I allow myself to bond now – I risk more pain and chaos.