What would I do without you all and your prayers! Each comment and email is such an encouragement. My friend, Ruth, IMed me and convinced me that her 21 yr old could be the substitute teacher this afternoon and we went to lunch. Getting out of the house, eating out, visiting a yarn store and a tea store – it really helped!
Between the IM from Ruth and her arrival, I got a call from the OR caseworker. There was a meeting today – but due to confidentiality issues, I don’t want to share too much. Bottom line is that they will take the case before a judge in late January. Not what I wanted – I was hoping she would be here before Christmas – but just knowing what is going on was such a balm to my soul!
And, it sounds like there are lots of testing/therapies that are going to be necessary in the next few months. To be honest, the foster mom – who I believe was a nurse – is probably her best advocate for all that is needed right now.
I’m no longer in limbo land…and I’m very grateful. Thank you all for being with me through all of this!
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I’m still in this funk. It doesn’t help that I’ve been plagued by bad dreams the last few nights. Horrible dreams where I believe that Joshua is alive, but I’ve misplaced him. I can’t quite remember where he is – but I’m sure that he isn’t really dead. I’m worried that people will find out that I can’t find him so I don’t tell anyone. And, in my dream, no one even remembers him so why would I tell them my worries anyway?
I understand why I dream. I just wish I could leave them when I awake. When I wake up then I have to deal with all the emotions that are in the dream. Anger, fear, sadness.
