(posted with permission)
My dear, dear Amy,
I wanted to take a moment at this memorable time and write to you about how sorry I am for the loss of your beloved Joshua.
And I tried; really I did.
But somehow along the way when I tried to write about sorrow, it turned into joy and when I tried to write about loss, it turned into thanksgiving. . .
I began to remember how utterly ecstatic you and Eric were when you learned you were pregnant after so long and so many trials– I rejoiced.
And I smiled as I recalled how all the PW-list went through the ups and downs of that pregnancy with you from the time he was but a secret hope nestled deep inside his mommy and invisible to the world to the wriggling reality held bundled joyfully in your arms. I recollected it all: the nausea, the aches, the pains, the fears and that tremendously .full. feeling at the end. How we all labored along with you as you brought forth that little miracle such a short time ago!
I thanked our Father that He had granted you the desire of your heart to have a miracle from your own womb to join the three miracles already in your heart and in your home. I was grateful for sharing– via our list–in the impact Joshua made on your family dynamics as you all adjusted to his schedule, his temperament, his very presence in your home.
And yet,
I do not wish to seem to minimize your sorrow, or make light of a life which ended far, far too quickly, but I gotta remind you to take comfort in the Word which tells us that we do not sorrow as those who have no hope and that we *will* see our loved ones again. Keep it deep in your heart of hearts, friend Amy that joy *does* come in the morning after nights of sorrow.
I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you at this time.
Love, LindaSue
Three Wishes for A Friend
I wish I could envelop
you in a hug four sizes
larger than your hurts.
I wish I could create a haven
for you within the wide arc
of my arms, a snuggley place
where you can hide your eyes
(for a little while) like a child
from your grown-up woes.
I wish I could give you a place
in the safety of my embrace
to escape the burden of your
sorrowful burdens.
Well-intentioned wishes
aside, I offer you rhythmic
pat-a-pat-pats of my palm
on your back in soothing
half-circle rub-scratches
as I listen to your sobs
and softly croon to you
.There, there, my friend.
.Go ahead, cry it out,.
and .It’s okay,.
and hope
that it is
enough.
–LindaSue Johnson
(5/29/2003)
Amy-
I was thinking about what King David said when he lost his baby boy. In 2 Samuel 12:23 he said “I will go to him”, meaning that someday they would be together again. I can’t imagine how long and hard that wait is for you but Praise God it will be your reality someday! But for today, just know that you are in the prayers of many who remember how very special little Joshie was to you and your family.
Interesting what she wrote about how when she tried to write about sorrow she could only think of joy and thanksgiving. As I prayed for you yesterday, sing songy through my head all day went, “This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!” I think we all feel like Linda, wanting to keep you safe from the pain and unbearable heartache. However, I think the Father has been and continues to do exactly what she wrote and He will be “the lifter of your head” when it is time for you to raise your head from his shoulders. I continue to pray knowing that grief is not contained in a day! Love you!