I found this on another grieving mom’s site – it’s so perfectly true:

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don’t worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn’t show.
Don’t worry about making me cry.
I’m already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I’m hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he didn’t exist.
I’d rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I am doing.
I say “pretty good” or “fine.”
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a lifetime.

By Elizabeth Dent

One Thought on “Please say their name

  1. Theresa on August 25, 2005 at 8:03 pm said:

    Thanks for sharing this poem. I am sharing it with my Mom who lost my brother and with a family in our church who lost a four year old girl six months ago and are struggling. I always thought the hardest part of losing someone was when they were still a real part of your own life, but noone else talked about them anymore. So, I’ll say his name…I wish I had met Joshie. He is so beautiful in his pictures, you can see his joy. What a special little man! Thank you for sharing!

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