I had the strangest feeling that everyone was responding appropriately to what have been an emergency.\u00c2\u00a0 But I still didn’t have a feeling there was anything to freak out about.\u00c2\u00a0 This was something that was being fixed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
That struck a chord with me.\u00c2\u00a0 I was so sure that the Drs could fix Joshua.\u00c2\u00a0 I think 90% of my earliest grief was simple shock.\u00c2\u00a0 I had taken my child to the ER and they were unable to fix him.<\/p>\n
It has always bothered me that I didn’t somehow worry more about Joshua.\u00c2\u00a0 That I didn’t wail….cry….faint.\u00c2\u00a0 I just stood there and watched.\u00c2\u00a0 I watched him die.\u00c2\u00a0 I will never be able to get rid of those memories.\u00c2\u00a0 And, I’ve been ashamed that I didn’t respond emotionally.\u00c2\u00a0 In fact, at some point in the ER I shut everything down emotionally – I put it in the box. The box that 5 years later I can just barely peek into.<\/p>\n
I know this won’t make sense to most of my visitors….and I pray you never will understand.<\/p>\n
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Something has always bugged me about the morning that Joshua died.\u00c2\u00a0 I was standing in the ER – and we knew by the way the Dr took him away from us that something was very wrong.\u00c2\u00a0 Everyone in the room was moving very fast and talking quietly.\u00c2\u00a0 I was holding my coat in front of …<\/span> Read More →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\nShare this:<\/h3>- <\/div><\/li>
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Something has always bugged me about the morning that Joshua died.\u00c2\u00a0 I was standing in the ER – and we knew by the way the Dr took him away from us that something was very wrong.\u00c2\u00a0 Everyone in the room was moving very fast and talking quietly.\u00c2\u00a0 I was holding my coat in front of …<\/span> Read More →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n
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