{"id":193,"date":"2005-04-04T09:07:59","date_gmt":"2005-04-04T16:07:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=193"},"modified":"2005-04-04T09:07:59","modified_gmt":"2005-04-04T16:07:59","slug":"hate-bringing-you-down","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=193","title":{"rendered":"Hate bringing you down"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve not wanted to write here….cause I hate bringing you down. But this is MY place to write, MY place to vent and I need to let off some of the pressure.<\/p>\n

I feel like I’ve put my grieving into a box and the lid stays on it except for those days when I am strong enough to wear it again or those days when the lid just bursts off and I can’t do anything else but wear my grief. <\/p>\n

Writing about my grief has given me a chance to peek into the box without overwhelming me with all of it. I have the opportunity to look at it in a way that I can handle. But since I’ve joined some knitting rings, I’ve felt like I needed to have more ‘normal’ content. But now I realize how much I need to write…how much the pressure of the contents of my box screams for attention. <\/p>\n

I won’t be offended if you don’t read my blog – but if I don’t have an outlet for this crap – It’s going to overtake my life. And, I can’t afford to do that. My other boys are very loving and understanding, but they deserve a sane mommy. A mommy who can attend to their needs and doesn’t stay in bed all the time. A mommy who they don’t have to worry about….I never want them to question if I loved them so little that I didn’t try to keep going for their sake.<\/p>\n

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