{"id":195,"date":"2005-04-04T22:05:29","date_gmt":"2005-04-05T05:05:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=195"},"modified":"2005-04-04T22:05:29","modified_gmt":"2005-04-05T05:05:29","slug":"springsadness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=195","title":{"rendered":"Spring=Sadness?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve been in a funk. There is no reason I should be in a funk. It’s not February….it’s not May (Josh’s birth month)…the sun is shining….things are growing…each day holds potential<\/em>.<\/p>\n

And, maybe that’s part of the problem. I struggle with wanting to go forward and knowing that part of me is forever rooted in February 22, 2003. No matter what…my life is different. I will never be the person I was going to be. I’ll never life the life I was going to live. <\/p>\n

You know – right after Josh died I wanted to get a tattoo. Something permanent to help me remember him. Now I can laugh at that (just a little \ud83d\ude09 because I know there is something permanent – and I will never forget him. I can’t ever tell you what that something is…it just is ‘something’<\/em>. It’s the new way I look at things. It’s the way I can’t look at family photographs and wonder where he would be in the picture – figure out how old he’d be on that date – try to picture him there. It’s the way I feel like I am missing something all<\/strong> the time – that I’ve misplaced something and I can’t find it. These things have permanently marked me in a way a tatoo never could. <\/p>\n

I’m not the same… and I will never forget.<\/p>\n

Share this:<\/h3>