{"id":213,"date":"2005-05-25T09:19:52","date_gmt":"2005-05-25T16:19:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=213"},"modified":"2005-05-25T09:19:52","modified_gmt":"2005-05-25T16:19:52","slug":"the-retreat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=213","title":{"rendered":"The Retreat"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lenin is attributed with saying: “A lie told often enough becomes the truth.” But it’s still a lie! This was basically the topic of the retreat I was on this weekend. I wasn’t sure what to expect – and to be honest I didn’t want to go. But my aunt and mom really wanted me to go and I could see how God had orchestrated things for me to go – and for that reason alone, I knew it was where I needed to be. <\/p>\n

I told my sister before I went, ‘if all I come away with is a way to be more patient with the boys, then I’ll be glad I went.’ I never realized what a healing I would experience!<\/p>\n

The goal of the retreat is to help you experience God’s love in your heart – not just your mind. I’ve struggled for many years knowing in my head that God loves me and wants good things for me….but my heart did not believe this. I kept trying to really learn it…thinking if I just tried harder, read the Bible more, prayed more, I would eventually be able to believe it.<\/p>\n

Through the activities I was able to realize (only with God’s direction though) that I had erected walls to protect my heart – but they were keeping others – including God – out. And, the root of all the hurts was rejection…feeling like I didn’t matter. (you are getting the cleaned up, no tears version \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

We created a tool to fight against the enemy when he tries to get us to believe these negative things again. For me it was the phrase “I am a worthy child of God – loved and accepted by my Heavenly Father.” We were supposed to have a scripture too. I waited on the Lord for the right one….people tried to help me find one….but I couldn’t find one until almost the last minute. Then the Lord gave me Mark 10:13-16 – esp v. 16 which says “And He (Jesus) took them into His arms and began blessing them, laying His hands on them.” And so many things clicked! <\/p>\n

Early in the weekend I told my small group buddies there that my biggest burden was my relationship with J1 (my oldest) – that we never had a kind word for one another any more – that he seemed to go out of his way to make me angry and I had no patience when it came to him. I remembered reading the book “The Blessing” years ago and just not getting it….how do I bless them? I realized I didn’t know how to bless my children, because I’d never been blessed. That morning I climbed into bed with J1 and held him and layed my hands on him and told him I loved him. I asked for his forgiveness and let him know how proud I was of him.<\/p>\n

Are things perfect now? No, he’s still a little boy and I still get tired in the evenings….but I’m trying to start and end each day with a blessing for each of my children. Nothing earth-shattering….but we are experiencing a healing. Isn’t it true that the things of the Lord are so simple…we work so hard to make things so complicated!<\/p>\n

If you ever get the chance to attend a HeartChange<\/a> Retreat (currently only in Oregon City, OR and Sacramento, CA) – go! You will be blessed beyond anything you could imagine!!<\/p>\n

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