{"id":256,"date":"2005-10-11T14:58:00","date_gmt":"2005-10-11T21:58:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=256"},"modified":"2005-10-11T14:58:00","modified_gmt":"2005-10-11T21:58:00","slug":"struggling-with-homeschooling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=256","title":{"rendered":"Struggling with Homeschooling"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today I’ve been struggling. I’ve been thinking that DH didn’t want me to homeschool the boys – grudgling agreeing to let me continue HSing J2 because of his need to go slower than a classroom would allow him. Our oldest is in DH’s classroom – and loves it – and we are having so many clashes that Dh and I felt that it was best for him to be under his dad’s mentorship more right now. Anyway, I assumed he wanted J3 to go to the school’s kindergarten and I was being quiet and trying to be submissive …. but really I was just pouting. <\/p>\n

But last night I mentioned to him how I feel disconnected from our local HS group because I don’t have his support. To say he was shocked was an understatement. I was assuming something that he hadn’t said and he was thinking this is what I wanted. And, it gave me pause. Do I want to HS J3? Do I feel I can do it? Will I be faithful? Will I be able to manage two children? Anyway, I just generally have been freaking out this morning and trying to get my head and heart lined up. <\/p>\n

Then I recalled an exchange I had with my mom this morning. She sent me this email (Ozzie is Oswald Chambers):<\/p>\n

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might. Ecclesiastes 9:10 \u2026and Ozzie says, \u201cWe have no right to have preconceived notions as to what God is fitting us for. Wherever He puts us, our great aim is to pour out a whole hearted devotion to Him in that particular work.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Which made me think of a favorite verse, so I replied:<\/p>\n

And, we can take comfort in the fact that He will equip us – “Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezk 36:26)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

But I was not applying it to my day! About 5 mins ago I realized how this applied to my recent troubled mind! What a dolt I can be!! So, if you are a friend of mine, I would definitely appreciate your prayers for me – I need a new heart. I need to remember why HS is a joy and that this time with my boys can be enjoyed! Thanking GOD I don’t have to walk this path alone!!<\/p>\n

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