{"id":260,"date":"2005-10-23T17:31:08","date_gmt":"2005-10-24T00:31:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=260"},"modified":"2005-10-23T17:31:08","modified_gmt":"2005-10-24T00:31:08","slug":"our-weekend-more-grieving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=260","title":{"rendered":"Our weekend &#8211; more grieving"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Eric said today that he believes our loss of Josh is something that will always be there &#8211; just below the surface and able to come up whenever it gets bumped.  This weekend it got bumped.<\/p>\n<p>Saturday we went to another memorial service.  Another good friend &#8211; an awesome Christian &#8211; lost her battle with cancer.  I don&#8217;t grieve for Nancy &#8211; she is much better off &#8211; but I grieve for those of us who are left behind.  Her husband and her children will always miss her &#8211; and time doesn&#8217;t help.  And knowing that she is with our Saviour doesn&#8217;t help. I guess I&#8217;m just too selfish &#8211; I want them to be with ME!<\/p>\n<p>Then today before Sunday School a new friend wanted us to know that she was working at the hospital where Josh died on the night he died.  She didn&#8217;t know us then of course, but she started to put things together as she got to know us.  She obviously wanted to talk about that night (well, we think of it as morning, but that is how she put it) and we obliged her &#8211; but then all during Sunday school I just felt dead.  And I realized I&#8217;m never going to &#8220;get over this&#8221;.  Time does NOT heal a wound like this.  Maybe I&#8217;ll get better at hiding the pain &#8211; but I better get used to this pain&#8230;I think we are going to have a lifelong relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Now I know there will be some who read this post and pity me because I&#8217;m not being &#8220;joyful in the Lord&#8221;.  Don&#8217;t get me wrong &#8211; there IS joy in my life.  I&#8217;m no longer ruled by this pain.  But I&#8217;m realizing that ignoring it doesn&#8217;t make it go away.  <\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Job 1:21b &#8220;The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.<br \/>\nBlessed be the name of the Lord.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>On a happy note &#8211; I got a treat from my new secret pal at church!  A gift certificate for JoAnns!  What a great pal!! So this afternoon I treated myself to some black microspun yarn and I&#8217;m going to knit a stole that I can wear with almost anything and it will be nice enough for church!  Bless you Secret Pal &#8211; you&#8217;ve been a blessing to me!!<\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-official sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Share this:<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-facebook\"><div class=\"fb-share-button\" data-href=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=260\" data-layout=\"button_count\"><\/div><\/li><li class=\"share-pinterest\"><div class=\"pinterest_button\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/pin\/create\/button\/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fosbornz.net%2Famy%2F%3Fp%3D260&#038;media=http%3A%2F%2Fosbornz.net%2Famy%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F10%2Fcropped-poppy-150x150.jpg&#038;description=Our%20weekend%20-%20more%20grieving\" data-pin-do=\"buttonPin\" data-pin-config=\"beside\"><img src=\"\/\/assets.pinterest.com\/images\/pidgets\/pinit_fg_en_rect_gray_20.png\" \/><\/a><\/div><\/li><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/share\" class=\"twitter-share-button\" data-url=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=260\" data-text=\"Our weekend - more grieving\" data-via=\"Knitnmom\" >Tweet<\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-tumblr\"><a class=\"tumblr-share-button\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tumblr.com\/share\" data-title=\"Our weekend - more grieving\" data-content=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=260\" title=\"Share on Tumblr\"data-posttype=\"link\">Share on Tumblr<\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-print\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-print sd-button\" href=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=260\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to print\" ><span>Print<\/span><\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#\" class=\"sharing-anchor sd-button share-more\"><span>More<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><div class=\"sharing-hidden\"><div class=\"inner\" style=\"display: none;width:150px;\"><ul style=\"background-image:none;\"><li class=\"share-email\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-email sd-button\" href=\"mailto:?subject=%5BShared%20Post%5D%20Our%20weekend%20-%20more%20grieving&body=http%3A%2F%2Fosbornz.net%2Famy%2F%3Fp%3D260&share=email\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to email a link to a friend\" data-email-share-error-title=\"Do you have email set up?\" data-email-share-error-text=\"If you&#039;re having problems sharing via email, you might not have email set up for your browser. 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Another good friend &#8211; an awesome Christian &#8211; lost her battle with <span class=\"ellipsis\">&hellip;<\/span> <span class=\"more-link-wrap\"><a href=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=260\" class=\"more-link\"><span>Read More &rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-official sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Share this:<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-facebook\"><div class=\"fb-share-button\" data-href=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=260\" data-layout=\"button_count\"><\/div><\/li><li class=\"share-pinterest\"><div class=\"pinterest_button\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/pin\/create\/button\/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fosbornz.net%2Famy%2F%3Fp%3D260&#038;media=http%3A%2F%2Fosbornz.net%2Famy%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F10%2Fcropped-poppy-150x150.jpg&#038;description=Our%20weekend%20-%20more%20grieving\" data-pin-do=\"buttonPin\" data-pin-config=\"beside\"><img src=\"\/\/assets.pinterest.com\/images\/pidgets\/pinit_fg_en_rect_gray_20.png\" \/><\/a><\/div><\/li><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/share\" class=\"twitter-share-button\" data-url=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=260\" data-text=\"Our weekend - more grieving\" data-via=\"Knitnmom\" >Tweet<\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-tumblr\"><a class=\"tumblr-share-button\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tumblr.com\/share\" data-title=\"Our weekend - more grieving\" data-content=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=260\" title=\"Share on Tumblr\"data-posttype=\"link\">Share on Tumblr<\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-print\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-print sd-button\" href=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=260\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to print\" ><span>Print<\/span><\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#\" class=\"sharing-anchor sd-button share-more\"><span>More<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><div class=\"sharing-hidden\"><div class=\"inner\" style=\"display: none;width:150px;\"><ul style=\"background-image:none;\"><li class=\"share-email\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-email sd-button\" href=\"mailto:?subject=%5BShared%20Post%5D%20Our%20weekend%20-%20more%20grieving&body=http%3A%2F%2Fosbornz.net%2Famy%2F%3Fp%3D260&share=email\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to email a link to a friend\" data-email-share-error-title=\"Do you have email set up?\" data-email-share-error-text=\"If you&#039;re having problems sharing via email, you might not have email set up for your browser. You may need to create a new email yourself.\" data-email-share-nonce=\"a03a0eeea0\" data-email-share-track-url=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=260&amp;share=email\"><span>Email<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5KjO-4c","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":156,"url":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=156","url_meta":{"origin":260,"position":0},"title":"Saturday","date":"February 5, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Everyone is home today - and the sun is shining! So we are going to get outside and trim some bushes, weed some flower beds and just enjoy the moment. I hope the sunshine will help my mood. I look at my boys and can't get over the fact that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family Life&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":549,"url":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=549","url_meta":{"origin":260,"position":1},"title":"There are no words","date":"February 22, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Josh Birthday (May 29, 2002) Josh in his swing Josh in his sling (Sept 02) Thanksgiving 2002 Christmas 2002 Joshua Bruce Osborn 5\/29\/02-2\/22\/03 Edited to add the following links... Eric's thoughts on today: http:\/\/thatsthewayiseeit.blogspot.com\/ What happened: http:\/\/www.osbornz.net\/kids\/joshie.shtml","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family Life&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":38,"url":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=38","url_meta":{"origin":260,"position":2},"title":"More Guilt","date":"July 31, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"I've been plagued with guilt off and on since losing Josh. And, it's been hitting me hard again...we try so hard to do what is right and bad things still happen.I struggled and struggled to breastfeed Josh - he was my only birth child and the only one for whom\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Grieving&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1696,"url":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=1696","url_meta":{"origin":260,"position":3},"title":"Warning:  Depression Ahead","date":"November 29, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm learning that this time of year I can get very sad. Eric is decorating.\u00c2\u00a0 He loves all things Christmas.\u00c2\u00a0 In his family Christmas was a part of the \"goody-goody season\" that started on his birthday in early November and included siblings' birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas.\u00c2\u00a0 Nonstop festivities and family.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family Life&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10,"url":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=10","url_meta":{"origin":260,"position":4},"title":"Visiting Grandma","date":"May 21, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Do you know I didn't even realize that tomorrow marks the 3 mo anniversary of Josh's death? Does that mean I'm ok or really bad off? (sigh) I really hope it means that the Lord is protecting me and I'm doing ok...not such an emotional mess anymore! Tonight I went\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family Life&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":247,"url":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=247","url_meta":{"origin":260,"position":5},"title":"Thoughts","date":"September 19, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Well, our friend died last Friday night. I've not written sooner because it caused so many new thoughts and emotions. I felt guilty because my first feeling was relief that it was over. Gregg has left a wife and two young sons (17 and 14) -- they need a Dad\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Grieving&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/260"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=260"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/260\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=260"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=260"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=260"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}