{"id":340,"date":"2006-03-21T18:29:09","date_gmt":"2006-03-22T01:29:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=340"},"modified":"2006-03-21T18:29:09","modified_gmt":"2006-03-22T01:29:09","slug":"thoughts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=340","title":{"rendered":"Thoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve been bothered all day by the fact that I can&#8217;t remember what color eyes Josh had.  I can&#8217;t bring myself to look at a photo to tell me either.  How twisted is that??  <\/p>\n<p>I know where all his photos are in the house so that I can avoid looking at them.  I don&#8217;t dust them.  I don&#8217;t dust the shelf that has his picture and a few momentos.  <\/p>\n<p>Does this sound like a healthy person?  Gosh, it&#8217;s been 3 years since he died.  I&#8217;m amazed how long loss takes to deal with.  <em>I started to type &#8216;get over&#8217; but I deleted it as I am starting to believe there is no &#8216;getting over&#8217; a loss like this.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Wow &#8211; I&#8217;m depressing tonight.<\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-official sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Share this:<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-facebook\"><div class=\"fb-share-button\" data-href=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=340\" data-layout=\"button_count\"><\/div><\/li><li class=\"share-pinterest\"><div class=\"pinterest_button\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/pin\/create\/button\/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fosbornz.net%2Famy%2F%3Fp%3D340&#038;media=http%3A%2F%2Fosbornz.net%2Famy%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F10%2Fcropped-poppy-150x150.jpg&#038;description=Thoughts\" data-pin-do=\"buttonPin\" data-pin-config=\"beside\"><img src=\"\/\/assets.pinterest.com\/images\/pidgets\/pinit_fg_en_rect_gray_20.png\" \/><\/a><\/div><\/li><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/share\" class=\"twitter-share-button\" data-url=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=340\" data-text=\"Thoughts\" data-via=\"Knitnmom\" >Tweet<\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-tumblr\"><a class=\"tumblr-share-button\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tumblr.com\/share\" data-title=\"Thoughts\" data-content=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=340\" title=\"Share on Tumblr\"data-posttype=\"link\">Share on Tumblr<\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-print\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-print sd-button\" href=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=340\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to print\" ><span>Print<\/span><\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#\" class=\"sharing-anchor sd-button share-more\"><span>More<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><div class=\"sharing-hidden\"><div class=\"inner\" style=\"display: none;width:150px;\"><ul style=\"background-image:none;\"><li class=\"share-email\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-email sd-button\" href=\"mailto:?subject=%5BShared%20Post%5D%20Thoughts&body=http%3A%2F%2Fosbornz.net%2Famy%2F%3Fp%3D340&share=email\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to email a link to a friend\" data-email-share-error-title=\"Do you have email set up?\" data-email-share-error-text=\"If you&#039;re having problems sharing via email, you might not have email set up for your browser. You may need to create a new email yourself.\" data-email-share-nonce=\"eaf8b581c0\" data-email-share-track-url=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=340&amp;share=email\"><span>Email<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve been bothered all day by the fact that I can&#8217;t remember what color eyes Josh had. I can&#8217;t bring myself to look at a photo to tell me either. How twisted is that?? I know where all his photos are in the house so that I can avoid looking at them. I don&#8217;t dust <span class=\"ellipsis\">&hellip;<\/span> <span class=\"more-link-wrap\"><a href=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=340\" class=\"more-link\"><span>Read More &rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled\"><div class=\"robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-official sd-sharing\"><h3 class=\"sd-title\">Share this:<\/h3><div class=\"sd-content\"><ul><li class=\"share-facebook\"><div class=\"fb-share-button\" data-href=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=340\" data-layout=\"button_count\"><\/div><\/li><li class=\"share-pinterest\"><div class=\"pinterest_button\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/pin\/create\/button\/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fosbornz.net%2Famy%2F%3Fp%3D340&#038;media=http%3A%2F%2Fosbornz.net%2Famy%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F10%2Fcropped-poppy-150x150.jpg&#038;description=Thoughts\" data-pin-do=\"buttonPin\" data-pin-config=\"beside\"><img src=\"\/\/assets.pinterest.com\/images\/pidgets\/pinit_fg_en_rect_gray_20.png\" \/><\/a><\/div><\/li><li class=\"share-twitter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/share\" class=\"twitter-share-button\" data-url=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=340\" data-text=\"Thoughts\" data-via=\"Knitnmom\" >Tweet<\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-tumblr\"><a class=\"tumblr-share-button\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tumblr.com\/share\" data-title=\"Thoughts\" data-content=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=340\" title=\"Share on Tumblr\"data-posttype=\"link\">Share on Tumblr<\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-print\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-print sd-button\" href=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=340\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to print\" ><span>Print<\/span><\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#\" class=\"sharing-anchor sd-button share-more\"><span>More<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><div class=\"sharing-hidden\"><div class=\"inner\" style=\"display: none;width:150px;\"><ul style=\"background-image:none;\"><li class=\"share-email\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" data-shared=\"\" class=\"share-email sd-button\" href=\"mailto:?subject=%5BShared%20Post%5D%20Thoughts&body=http%3A%2F%2Fosbornz.net%2Famy%2F%3Fp%3D340&share=email\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Click to email a link to a friend\" data-email-share-error-title=\"Do you have email set up?\" data-email-share-error-text=\"If you&#039;re having problems sharing via email, you might not have email set up for your browser. You may need to create a new email yourself.\" data-email-share-nonce=\"eaf8b581c0\" data-email-share-track-url=\"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=340&amp;share=email\"><span>Email<\/span><\/a><\/li><li class=\"share-end\"><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s5KjO-thoughts","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":283,"url":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=283","url_meta":{"origin":340,"position":0},"title":"Just when you think you are stronger","date":"November 23, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"I was looking for a specific picture of our family to post online - and I ended up looking at the pictures I have in a folder of Joshie - and now I'm just a mess again. I try not to look at the pictures of him in our house.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Grieving&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":769,"url":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=769","url_meta":{"origin":340,"position":1},"title":"Upheaval","date":"October 13, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Our house is in utter chaos right now! I will NOT show you before pictures because - shudder - it was bad. And I will NOT show you during pictures because - shudder - it's 1:30pm and I have NOT had a shower and I'm now covered in dust! lol\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family Life&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1232,"url":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=1232","url_meta":{"origin":340,"position":2},"title":"My life in Mosaic&#8230;","date":"June 22, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Found this (and the latest Lost video) on CC's blog... How to make a mosaic: a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search. b. Using only the first page, pick an image. c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Everything Else&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/osbornz.net\/amy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/06\/mosaic6863188-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":508,"url":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=508","url_meta":{"origin":340,"position":3},"title":"Journey through Grief","date":"January 18, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"I've been thinking alot about Josh as February 22 approaches.\u00c2\u00a0 I wonder what our life would look like if life had been different.\u00c2\u00a0 Could I handle 4 boys?\u00c2\u00a0 I know I'd be a different person if I hadn't been through this trial.\u00c2\u00a0 Would I have been stronger? Would I have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Grieving&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":223,"url":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=223","url_meta":{"origin":340,"position":4},"title":"Sadness","date":"June 16, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Tonight is one of those nights...everything is normal....but I notice the loss. I wonder what one more boys voice would add to the chaos. I dream of watching Josh (who would be 3 now) play with J3 (4) in one room while the \"Big Boys\" play the game system in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Grieving&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":207,"url":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=207","url_meta":{"origin":340,"position":5},"title":"Scrappin&#8217; Saturday","date":"May 14, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Today my sister came for a visit and brought all her scrapbook stuff and wanted to scrap with me. I agreed but secretly wasn't wild about this. I haven't scrapbooked since Summer of 2001 - not since J3 arrived and then I found out we were pregnant with Josh. It\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family Life&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/340"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=340"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/340\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=340"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=340"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=340"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}