{"id":37,"date":"2003-07-22T10:31:00","date_gmt":"2003-07-22T17:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=37"},"modified":"2003-07-22T10:31:00","modified_gmt":"2003-07-22T17:31:00","slug":"5-months","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=37","title":{"rendered":"5 months"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s been 5 months since we’ve lost Joshie. It occured to me last night that pretty quick he’ll have been gone longer than he lived. What an incredibly sad thought to me.<\/p>\n

I’m turning 37 in a few months. And, I’m back to thinking that maybe we should take steps to not have any more children. Just say that these 4 boys were enough. But then I wonder if maybe it wouldn’t be so hard or so painful this time. Maybe I’d not have the problems I had before. But of course, there are no guarantees.<\/p>\n

I guess the bottom line is that I’m not ready to make a decision. And, it feels pretty good to give that decision to the Lord and say, do what you will. It’s very similar to allowing my parent make a decision for me when I was a child – I knew that I wasn’t competent to make the decisions and felt a sense of security that they wanted my best and would decide what was best. Is that faith? I think so. I have Faith that whatever the Lord decides in this matter, we will live through it and, no matter how hard it might be at the time, we can rest in the fact that it is for our good.<\/p>\n

Hmm…it’s funny where your mind will take you when you just let it go!<\/p>\n

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