{"id":717,"date":"2007-09-07T17:52:23","date_gmt":"2007-09-08T00:52:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=717"},"modified":"2007-10-01T08:03:47","modified_gmt":"2007-10-01T15:03:47","slug":"spilling-the-beans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/osbornz.net\/amy\/?p=717","title":{"rendered":"Spilling the Beans!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I can’t do this!!<\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n

Yes, yes, we all know I’m notoriously bad at keeping secrets! But added to that – this is my journal<\/strong>!! This <\/strong>is where I record my random thoughts to help me understand what I’m feeling. This <\/strong>is where I share my fears and my victories…well, sometimes…sometimes it’s just where I whine and talk about yarn…<\/em>but I TRY <\/strong>to be deeper than that somedays!<\/p>\n

So, here’s what’s up! Tuesday at 4:53pm we got a call. Caller ID said “No Name, No Number” which normally means we would let the call go to voice mail. But the house was pretty chaotic at the time – DH and boys just got home, a friend was just leaving – and I answered it. Thank God I did!!<\/p>\n

The man asked for me and said he was Charlie\/Charles (it was a blur) from OR DHS. (Wait, you all know that our boys are adopted, right? And, that they are all bio-related, right?<\/em>) It seems that our birth mom (we call her “Tummy Mommy”) had another baby. A girl. In July. There will be a court date in approximately one month to establish a plan (adoption) for the baby. We need to consider, as family, if we want to be considered.<\/p>\n

At one point I looked at Eric to give him a “Do-You-Realize-What-This-Call-Is??” Look and he was on his face. I can’t say if he was praying or crying or both. But we were both terrified.<\/p>\n

“What ifs” are flying around us constantly. Do they know how old we are? Do they know we don’t have any girls? Do we know anyone who has a crib? WHY did we get rid of everything? Will triple bunks fit in our house? Will we have to move? Will we need bigger vehicles? <\/em><\/p>\n

and quieter we ask … Do they know Josh died? Will they trust us? Do we trust us? Is this a joke? Can we do this again? Will they say no after we say yes? Will they determine we are not acceptable? <\/em><\/p>\n

Today, at J2’s gymnastics – I noticed little girls.<\/p>\n