Today, J2 and I are relaxing in the living room after school and chores. I’m knitting and listening to a knitting podcast and he is watching some cartoon on the tv. He turns to me and says, “Mom, if Josh was still alive and we could get that stone, it could all be better.” I guess some cartoon had a magical stone that could bring alive the dead. I replied something along the lines of – that would be nice, but it’s not real.

He reflects on that for a minute and then says, “Mom, how do they get him in that box?” There is no way to answer that one. How do you explain something like that? Or the real question – what does he really want to know? Does he really want to know what happened to Joshua’s body or something else less technical but more emotional? Since I don’t know and I’m struggling not to cry, I tell him that we’ll talk about it when he’s a little older. He, agreeable as always, accepts that answer. I start crying anyway.

I wish I knew how to handle times like this better. I try to be honest…but I still have trouble getting the words out of my mouth when it’s a question like this. I need to remember that the boys are grieving just like us – it just looks different. Though they were only 8, 6 and 2….they still had a big loss. Not just their brother…but their mom too to some extent.

We had our Pinewood Derby this weekend!  J2 did not win – but he had a great time and is already planning next year’s car.  I was not able to be there until after his race due to running J1 to a party – so DH took tons of photos – but only a few turned out.

proudscout.jpggetting ribbons.jpgj2andothers.jpgj2scar.jpg

I knit – and my boys create with Legos! 🙂  Here’s the fruit of our recent labors:


J1 made the following this weekend.  A robot, a happy man and a house with vegetation:


And I’ve finished some knitted things:

My Red Scarf is ready to be shipped on Wednesday…


And, my Branching Out Scarf is ready to be given…


OK – I messed up the Odessa hat!! Somehow I got off the pattern…but I’m not sure if it will show. More frustrating is that I’m thinking it’s too big. So, it’s going back in the bag until tomorrow night’s Knit Night. I’ll let them tell me what they think before I do something drastic like frog it!

So, it’s back to the purple socks – I really need some fun purple socks to wear! 😉 Photos soon!

I can’t tell how much I hate when my kids get a birthday invitation.  And, when their own birthdays come around – I just want to hide away until they are over.  We are not rich.  And, even if we were not – the current trends in birthday parties for children just does not sit right with me.

This article reminds me of this article at TOS by Jen Igarashi:  How to Make a Monster in Three Easy Steps.
What do you all think about birthdays?  Are you like me – a “bad” mommy who refuses to  succumb to the hoopla?  Or do you go all out?