I’ve been meaning to post this since October 1st – the day I turned my little perpetual calendar and read:

A happy life is not built up of tours abroad and pleasant holidays, but of little clumps of violets noticed by the roadside, hidden away almost so that only those can see them who have God’s peace and love in their hearts; in one long continuous chain of little jobs, little whispers from the spiritual world, and little gleams of sunshine on our daily work.
Edward Wilson

I think this is so true! Because it’s a matter of choosing to see those little things “in midst”. “In midst” of the pain….of the grief….of the dark….of the craziness. If you are looking for those little ways the Lord shows you that He is still there and that He loves you….you will find them.

I almost hesitate to share this example that happened yesterday because it is so, well, everyday. But it made me remember that I am loved and cared for…again. 🙂 I was on my way to an area of Sacramento where I had not driven for almost 20 years! Since returning to California there just had not been a reason to go there. But yesterday I needed to keep an appointment. I did all the things I normally do before heading out (yes, I HATE getting lost so I’m a bit anal at times!) I called and asked for directions….I used Mapquest…and I talked to my hubby about where I was going. I said I was anal didn’t I?! LOL But I was still a bit nervous about finding this place. As I was leaving town and getting onto I5 – I noticed the vehicle behind me was a lady from church….but as she was behind me I didn’t wave or anything. In the traffic I soon lost sight of her. As I exited I5 and merged onto 80 – there she was again….and then she was lost in traffic. As I exited 80 onto a city street, I looked for her and realized I was alone again. I started to get more nervous as I looked for the street and doublechecked the directions (I only read them at stop lights, officier! Really! 😉 I was confident I’d find the street, but was growing fairly sure that I’d be late as the directions to the actual building lacked a street number but contained terms like “look for 3 low white buildings” WHAT?!? On a four lane road?!? Sure…I’ll just drive with my other set of eye. But as I turned onto the street — there was the lady from church again behind me!!! It ocurred to me that she might be heading to the same destination as me! Gee, thanks Lord!! So, I slowed down a bit and she went around me. Then I followed her right into the parking lot (well, she turned into the wrong one, but by then I was sure where I need to go 😉

So, yes, it’s a little thing that could be explained and overlooked…but I feel loved and taken care of….and that’s all that matters to me!

Today I have to take #2 & #3 son into the doctor for some shots and a checkup and I’m soooo dreading it. It’s not that I have a phobia about doctors, but since losing Joshie they are scarier than dentists! 🙁 And, knowing that both boys will be getting shots is freaking me out. And, #1 son is not very helpful at times like these and I need them to be good for many reasons.

Can you please pray that I have the Lord’s peace as I approach this appointment….that it is over quickly and without notice….and that the Lord remove the feelings of fear and panic I have from being in a medical office again after losing Josh?

It’s hard to trust a doctor anymore!

Thanks!

Thank you all who have faithfully emailed me to let me know that you miss my posts and hope I’m doing well. Bottom line….I wasn’t. The end of February holds the anniversary of losing Joshua and then it seems I barely get my head back together and it’s May which holds his birthday – he would have been 2 this year. It becomes hard to write here because I require only truth of myself when I write..and the pain is just too hard to relive through writing. I hope you will forgive my absences from time to time and send up a prayer or two when I’m quiet.

Now for the good news!!

First: Eric has a new job!! He is teaching Fourth grade at Neighborhood Christian school in Dixon, CA He just finished his first week (3 days though) and loves it. He says the kids are great and the other staff and administration are awesome!! PTL!

Second: We are moving into a rental house!! Out of the apartments!! Yeah!! And, not only will we have a yard, but it’s a double lot, so it’s a HUGE backyard. When I can post pictures I’ll be sure to do that here.

Third: Well, there is no third, except we are so excited to see the Lord working in our lives! Not only to meet our needs over the last few years but to carry us through the pain and grief of losing Josh and now to meet our needs with a great job that Eric enjoys and a home where the boys can run and jump all they want!! Also, Eric and I are working with a team to start a new ministry at church and we are heavily involved in the 40 days of Purpose at our church this fall. More on all that soon!

For now I need to get offline and start my day – which means get some things packed for our move next week! Gosh, it feels great to share my praises, thoughts and heart here – thanks for listening!!

Love, Amy

This week I started to feel bad about the fact that we couldn’t offer the children various lessons that many HSers in our area are taking advantage of – like fencing, karate, music, art, etc. In fact, I was getting pretty serious about joining a local charter school – sure I’d give up some of my freedom (we have alot in Calif) but I wanted the lesson/curriculum money!

As I talked to DH I explained my struggle and he put his foot down as the charter school required a minimum of 4 hours per school day regardless of age. This would not work for us right now. And, I realized, as we talked, that I hadn’t asked the Lord to meet this need. A few minutes later I remembered that our oldest told us that the Jr church music leader had told J1 he’d teach him how to play guitar if he got a guitar. And, then that afternoon a fellow HSer had said, we have a student guitar handy if you need it. I hadn’t told her what I was thinking about the charter schools because I knew she wouldn’t approve!

I started to get excited and realize that even though I hadn’t told the Lord yet, He was already working thing out to meet this need. I did a little research this week and found out that the going rate is $85/mo for weekly 1/2 hr lessons. 🙁 But I figured God wanted me to trust Him to provide this money. Today DH talked to the Jr church music leader and he said he’d love to teach J1 and that he doesn’t accept any money – it’s his ministry! God provided again!!

And, we found out that the boys can take karate at the local parks and rec for $20/mo each – and since we don’t have to pay for music lessons, we can afford these lessons! Yeah!!

And (as if that wasn’t enough!) I found out for $50 we can get a family membership at the Davis Art Center which gives us $10 off all lessons – anything from drawing to painting to knitting to drama and dance! Most classes are $40-50 so it’s going to be more expensive….but it might be well worth it!

Praising the Lord for His provision!!!