In a Funk….again….

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I gathered my courage last week – Wednesday, to be exact – and called the caseworker. I had to leave a message. I asked her to call me back and let me know what was happening. No call back.

I then called the foster mom. It “wasn’t a good time” but she did tell me they still have ‘Princess’ in their home. She said she would write me. Nothing yet.

I, of course, jump to the conclusion that they don’t want to tell me what I would consider bad news.

I wish we had never gotten the phone call.

I wish there was someway I could have stayed uninvolved emotionally.

I wish I had never seen her photograph.

I wish I hadn’t given her a name in my heart.

I wish I had never told the boys.

I wish someone would contact me so that I can quit wishing.

A prayer

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We still have not told the boys about the developments in regards to their sister.  Today, J1 prayed: “God, please protect our sister.  If it isn’t your plan to have her live with us, please give her a family where she can learn about you and be safe.”

It touched me so much!  I love to see these guys growing up.  I love to see them working out their faith.

I’m not giving up Hope…

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…but I’ve taken down the crib. There is nothing sadder than an empty crib. I’ve boxed up the blankets. Shoved the early gifts from well-intended family members into drawers. If the boys ask I have the convenient excuse that Grammy needs to borrow the crib – Bless You Grammy!

I don’t know anything new. I haven’t heard from anyone in at least two weeks. I pray Princess is still safely in the same foster family – but I don’t even know that for sure.

Psalm 73:26

My flesh and my heart faileth: [but] God [is] the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.

 

Yummy X 2

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First, thank you all for your comments and emails! We are not giving up hope.  But we are frustrated. The next step for us will be to learn when the court date is set and pray. Otherwise we are as prepared as we can be. So, there probably won’t be any news for awhile…but please don’t forget to pray for us. Waiting can be the hardest part! And, of course, this is brining all my loss issues up and I am dealing with those the only way I know how – prayer.

Second, look what showed up on my doorstep this morning! Two of my favorite things – yarn and chocolate!! 😀

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And, it was delivered by my knitting friend T and her adorable son A! Do you remember I asked for you to pray for her? She is due any day and had shingles? Well, she reported the shingles are gone! YEAH!! I think she will be at Knit Night tonight – as it may very well be her last one for awhile – so I’m going to try to be there too! (Boy Scouts is wrecking havoc on MY plans!)

What would I do without you all?! I hope I never find out!

Prayer Request

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I finally got to talk to the OR caseworker today. It seems the “tummy mom” is in the hospital and has decided that she wants to get clean and be a parent. thud That was my heart.

This has never happened before…she’s never tried. How do I tell the boys? Do I tell the boys? Why wouldn’t she try for them but she’ll try for her? I’m sure it will do no good to tell them what is happening.

Today they are visiting her again to see if they can get her in rehab and give her the list of things she’ll need to accomplish. The casework told me they will continue to work to reunification AND termination at the same time. If, when the termination hearing is held she has made adequate progress, the judge will probably decide to give her more time.

Wow. What a way to start the week…..