October 1st

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It’s October 1st. And, I feel a bit apprehensive. Regardless of exact dates, SOMETIME this month we will get more details about the baby girl. I’m eagerly anticipating ANY contact, any information. I’m pretty distracted by it.

Which, of course, means that I’ve got one of the busiest weeks before me!! Yikes! We’ve got homeschool, work, dentist appts, doctor appts, Knit Night, Scouts at all levels, including my shrinking Tiger den – down to three boys :(, all day tomorrow helping my mom with her dentist appt (she has to be transported and stayed with because of the medication), and we are finishing the week up with Olympics at the school and Eric preaching at our church!! And, in between all this I’ll be stalking the phone!

It also occurred to me this week, that the case workers, foster family, whoever, might end up on my blog at some point. For about 2 seconds I wondered if I should edit anything…and then I realized how stupid that was. I am who I am. I do not want to be anything or anyone else. If people can’t handle the truth of my grief journey or my anticipation about this adoption – then, that is their problem. I am who I am. And, I’m ok with that!

Pictures from last week…

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Last week we had J2’s first Webelos I den meeting:

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J3’s first Tiger den meeting:

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Yummy’s at our special Movie & Knitting Night:

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And, we headed up to my brother and sister-in-law’s house to help -but we didn’t get there until later and we brought the rain! 🙁 My sister-in-law really knocked herself out with lunch:

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J3 really enjoyed his lasagna on his french bread:

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No news

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It’s too early for news. And, I hate being in limbo! In my heart I know she will be my daughter. But there are so many things beyond our control. Not having a timeframe is absolute killer for me. I wonder if she’ll be with us for Christmas – I pray it is so – everyone should be with their family for Christmas!

I wonder if she’ll join us while she is still young enough to enjoy a sling — I wish I knew about them when J2 was so little and so fretful. I didn’t know about the benefits of attachment parenting back then – but I knew what my little guy needed to feel peaceful. I learned to do so much with one arm…a sling would have made things so much easier. J3 was almost too big for a sling when he joined our family….of course, it still didn’t occur to me that a sling would be helpful. It wasn’t until Joshua was born – and J3 was only 15 mos old – that I realized being one-armed-momma was not going to work! A friend made me some slings and it was perfect!!

I wonder if she has wavy blonde hair like J1 or straight dark hair like J2 & J3. I wonder if she even has hair.

I wonder what her name is now. I wonder if the name I have in my heart for her will fit her or if we’ll be scrambling for a new name like we did for J2.

I wonder is she sleeps fitfully like J2 or solid like J1 & J3.

I wonder if her laugh will sound like her brothers.

I wonder if she has any birth defects. Can the miracle of mostly healthy children continue? God truly protects these babies from the lifestyle they are subjected to before they are born!

So, I’m in limbo – have I said how much I dislike being in limbo?

J2’s Birthday

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Tuesday, Sept 11 was J2’s 11th birthday. It was a full day – so full I didn’t get to upload the collage I made for him!

Happy Birthday J2!!

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Here is J2 (in pirate garb of course! LOL) and his cake

 

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Daddy lite his cake with the BIG lighter! LOL

Why worry when you can pray?!?

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“Why worry when you can pray?!?” I keep hearing that in my head…so I’m trying to make it a practice to stop and pray for specific things when I feel a bit of panic overtake me. If you want to join me in praying for our situation – here are some ideas on how to pray:

For the baby: This baby needs to be healed from the effects of drug use, alcohol use, lack of nutrition and sooo many other things. We need to be praising due to the fact that this baby made it this far…but she isn’t out of the woods yet. In fact, the tremors will most likely fade. She’ll grow stronger and start to thrive. But it is her brain that will probably be the most damaged. The problems may exhibit early and we’ll try to get the right interventions for her. OR they may not appear until she is school-age. But there will be some price paid by this baby for the addictions of her tummy-mommy.

For the foster family: They deal with some of the worst withdrawals. Often this is not the only baby for which they are caring. Pray for them to love this baby but give them patience for dealing with the court. Pray for patience for when I finally get their phone number and can call them wtih ALL my questions. 😉

For the caseworker: Pray that this person loves this baby and she not just another case. In our experience these people are unselfish and overworked. They go above and beyond. Please pray that this person has patience with us and be willing to work with us to bring this baby girl home sooner than later.

For the Judge and the Court: Please pray that the court dates be easy to make and honored by all parties. Please pray that they see how much it would be to our family’s benefit to have this baby home with us as soon as possible. Please pray that they consider our request to adopt with favor. Please pray that they understand our strengths and weaknesses and make best choice for this baby – even if that means not with us.

For Us: Please pray that we continue to be united in our desire to have this baby join our family. Pray that all the other things we are doing this Fall and Spring go smoothly so as not to add more stress to our lives. Finances, communication, J1’s Mexico trip and upcoming surgery, Boy & Cub Scouts, J2’s ongoing learning struggles, fitting another person into this small – but adequate – house. Please pray that should the court decide we are not to adopt this baby, that we accept that as the Lord’s will too.

For Others: Just this morning I found out that a friend’s life has pretty much fallen apart. Today there are important events that determine what will happen to their family. Please join me in praying for her and others who have much more imediate needs that us!