In my inbox today

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from a friend – perfect timing:

 

“I am a man who has seen affliction, by the rod of his wrath. He has driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light; he has turned his hand against me again and again, all day long. He has made my skin grow old and broken my bones. He has surrounded me with bitterness and hardship. He has made me dwell in darkness like the dead. He has walled me in so I cannot escape; he has weighed me down with chains. Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer. He has barred my way with blocks of stone; he has made my paths crooked.” (Lamentations 3:1-10 NIV)

Jeremiah didn’t mince words. He told God exactly how he felt, and you know what? God is okay with that. He wants you to unload all your frustrations on him. Don’t unload them on your spouse, your kids, your boss or some online blog. Take it all to God, because he can handle it.

God can handle your anger, complaints and frustrations. He wants you to unload on him, because you need to get it all out. It’s cathartic. If you don’t, then here’s what will happen: As I like to say, “When I swallow my emotions and my anger, my stomach keeps score. When I swallow my fear and resentment, my back keeps score.” If you don’t talk things out, you’re going to take them out on your body.

So you need to get it out, and God can take whatever you’ve got. Go ahead, have a temper tantrum with him. God is your Heavenly Father and will still love you, just as a parent loves his or her child even when that child throws a fit.

You can’t see why God allows what he allows in your life, and God doesn’t owe you an explanation, because he’s God and you aren’t. But someday, and it might not be until you get to heaven, you’ll be able to look back and see the big plan. Until that day comes, keep taking your concerns to God.

Truth to Remember

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(Don’t worry -I have more squares to share – but the stuff happening in my life needs a bit of an outlet so I can function! This is first and foremost, my journal to get through my grief – whether it’s from Joshua’s death or the other kids ongoing struggles.)

My friend, Ruth, sent me this email yesterday but I didn’t see it before I saw her last night at Knit Night.  She asked me if I’d seen it, so I looked for it as soon as I got home, which meant it was on my mind as I went to bed.

GOD IS FOR YOU. And if God is for you, who can move against you? God is sovereign, and He rules over everything. Whoever has tried to harm you could only go as far as God let them, and not one inch further. And no matter what they did, no matter how horribly you have been used or abused, God will use it to make you like Jesus. This is His promise.

I love it!  And, I followed the link and found out that this is from a new book by Kay Arthur: “When The Hurt Runs Deep”.  One I think I’m going to need to read.  Hope this quote encourages you as much as it encouraged me!  Thanks Ruth!

Still struggling

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I’m a do-er.  I want the bottom line…I want to make the choice and get going.  I don’t want to talk about things for a long time nor revisit things again and again.  Fortunately, Eric balances me in this area or this could be a big problem!

But there isn’t anything you can do about grief.  You can’t wish it away.  You can’t do ANYTHING to make it better or get through it sooner.  You can’t even just ignore it!

So, while today isn’t a special anniversary – I’m still struggling with the grief of yesterday! Frustrating!

But there is joy and blessing in the midst of this hard time!  I’ve received so many words of encouragement via this blog, Facebook, twitter and email!  I don’t know what I’d do without you all!

My mom made this beautiful and yummy salad for our dinner last night:

My friend at church had her Hubby deliver these still-hot-from-the-oven cookies!

Can you see it says “Made with <3 – praying for you all!”  We are so blessed by our church family!

And, J3 found these cookies on the porch this morning from an unknown angel:

The note says “Heard you might need these…. (contains eggs)”  Thanks for the warning! Eric resisted as he ran out the door! 😉

Thank you all for your continued love and support of our family!!  I’m blessed by you in the midst of this hard time!

Project 365 – Day 54, 311 to go!

Repost: Blanket of Grief

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I wrote this in 2003 after Joshua died.  At times I still feel this way but, praise the Lord, it’s less common than normal.

Blanket of Grief

Copyright, Amy Osborn

I can feel the blanket covering me…

it affects everything I hear…

everything I say…

everything I see.

The blanket makes it hard

for me to enjoy life…

hard for me to care…

hard to do the simplest things.

There are times I feel that

I will be able to get out

from under the blanket,

but then I realize there

are times I don’t want to.

Somedays it’s too hard

to go on…

to enjoy life…

to care.

Those days I pull

my blanket over my head

and let the tears flow.

This is one of those days.