For the last 9 mos, my eldest has been spending almost every weekend, most parts of every holiday with a friend in Sacramento. This has given us all respite and a it’s been needed. Today that changes. After today he is spending most of his time with this friend’s family and will be visiting here instead. 🙁

I think it would be easier if he was going off to a school or Job Corps. I’d feel like that was a step forward. But this is a step sideways at best. This is admitting that we can’t live together…that he’s better away from us. 🙁 That hurts.

It seems like only yesterday we were bringing him home and showing him his room and his toys. I remember the first time he called me Momma.

But it’s been hard for a long time. My head understands why this is a good thing for ALL of us, but my heart does not! I just wish love HAD been enough to help him.

Today is a day I wish didn’t exist.  Today is a day for our nation to recognize the damage drinking while pregnant can inflict on your children.  No amount of alcohol is safe at any point in your pregnancy.  If you don’t think I’m correct, come live in our house and you’ll understand the long-term affects!

My friends at FAS Families of Faith have done a great job sharing about what you can do to help make other aware of FASD.  Please go visit them!

 

Part of me wants to keep this post light and cheery….but the reality is that parenting my kids is hard.  Not because of what they have done/are doing but because of what has been done to them.  Parenting them means I need to always be “on”….always considering what the need is, not reacting to the behavior.

The past few days with just two special kids was a nice break.  And, I’m SO excited that my big boys are going to be back.  But big boys mean bigger behaviors….bigger needs.  There is a part of me that dreads their return.  How bad does that sound?!  🙁  If there are other mom’s of special kids reading this, I think you might understand.  I pray you are out there, and are praying for me!  I wish I had a support group of other mom’s with whom I could share these concerns….but I don’t, so I’m sharing it with you – my normal friends! 😉

Please pray

  • that I can make their homecoming special – that they realize how much they were missed and loved!
  • that the boys will get back into the family groove without too much testing
  • that we can keep things quiet and calm during the transition back into normal routines

Thank you for supporting me in prayer!

So, here is my list of summer reading.  I’m going to try to get them all done before school officially resumes August 15, 2011….however, we will be starting a few things in July.  In no particular order:

  • The Autism Checklist – a practical reference for parents and teachers by Paula Kluth, Ph.D.
  • Making Autism A Gift by Robert Evert Cimera
  • How To Be Yourself in a World That’s Different by Yuko Yoshida
  • Homeschooling the Child with Autism by Patricia Schetter & Kandis Lighthall
  • Thinking in Pictures, my life with Autism by Temple Grandin
  • FASD, strategies not solutions
  • The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Romance by Heidi St. John
  • Life Skills for Kids by Christine Fied

If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, you will know that our family was created via adoption.  All four of our children were adopted at different times but are indeed a sibling group.  This is significant because this means that all four had very similar lives in the womb and upon birth.  We are still learning about what their birth mother’s choices means to them.

We are learning about Fetal Alcohol Exposure and it’s affects.  We are learning about autism, oppositional defiance disorder, dyslexia, OCD, development delays, and so much more.

There are days where just living with those things means that there isn’t enough energy to do much more than fall into bed and pray that tomorrow is different. Those days it’s easy to feel hopeless.

Then there are days like today – when someone hears you and gives you a few more things to try and you start to believe we will indeed make it another day, week, month, year.

Today, I have hope.