Yes, I’m normally a very positive person. I’d rather say nothing, than say something negative. But I.Am.Mad! And, I need an outlet!

So, today,

  • I hate the time between when my teenager wakes up and his medication kicks in.
  • I hate the hateful things he says
  • and the hateful things I think.
  • I hate that I can’t fix him
  • or love him into healing.
  • I hate that I never get a true break from it
  • I hate worrying if the other children are exhibiting the same attitudes/symptoms
  • I hate the tension it creates in our house
  • I hate FASD
  • I hate ADHD
  • I hate ODD
  • I hate that I have to be 100% on top of my attitude or we could have a huge blowup
  • I hate that I feel like a failure – I certainly didn’t do this to him!  But I still carry guilt over it
  • I hate worrying about his future.
  • I hate how much his issues bring out the worse in me.
  • I hate how tired I am just from living here.
  • I hate it when people say “find a support group”.  They don’t realize I have VERY little time for myself.
  • I hate seeing the other children react to his rages and resent him.
  • I hate that he doesn’t even seem to try.
  • I hate that he is 15 going on 3.
  • I hate that this disorder is causing me to write over 200 words of hate. 🙁