I’ve not wanted to write here….cause I hate bringing you down. But this is MY place to write, MY place to vent and I need to let off some of the pressure.
I feel like I’ve put my grieving into a box and the lid stays on it except for those days when I am strong enough to wear it again or those days when the lid just bursts off and I can’t do anything else but wear my grief.
Writing about my grief has given me a chance to peek into the box without overwhelming me with all of it. I have the opportunity to look at it in a way that I can handle. But since I’ve joined some knitting rings, I’ve felt like I needed to have more ‘normal’ content. But now I realize how much I need to write…how much the pressure of the contents of my box screams for attention.
I won’t be offended if you don’t read my blog – but if I don’t have an outlet for this crap – It’s going to overtake my life. And, I can’t afford to do that. My other boys are very loving and understanding, but they deserve a sane mommy. A mommy who can attend to their needs and doesn’t stay in bed all the time. A mommy who they don’t have to worry about….I never want them to question if I loved them so little that I didn’t try to keep going for their sake.
I have been attracted to your blog thro quilting — then I noticed that you are also grieving – I recently lost my husband to cancer – so in a way I can relate to grieving – tho not to your perticular form of grief – the lose of a child – I too lost a child but at birth so never had the experience of loving and holding and careing and then the quick loss that you have experienced – my heart goes out to you – feel free to vent or express as this is your blog (journal) – each of us has to grieve in any way we can to get thro this life we are here to live — my husbands favorite saying was to live each day to the fullest – mine is -see and take pleasure in the simplest things – I will pray for you – CJ
I agree. This is your blog, please write what you feel you need to. I will still read your blog 🙂
I just found your blog through the RAOK. Please write what you want to write. Vent, scream, grieve. Knitters are all people too.. and we love be there for eachother. I read your story, and my heart broke for you and your family. I wish you healing, peace, and love.
peace, Korin
Hey Amy, glad you have a place to write. Everyone has to face their grief in different ways. I know when I write I understand myself better and I hope the same happens for you. If people can’t understand you writing about your grief they have to be incredibly selfish. I for one feel priveleged that you open the box a crack and let the rest of us peek inside. Reading how you deal with your grief helps me in my own grieving. Noone else may understand the grief that we bear but at the same time it is nice not to be totally alone. Remember, “because he lives we can face tomorrow”. Sending you hugs! I miss you! Theresa
(((((Amy)))))
Thinking of you…….