Many of you know that our children are all adopted (with the exception of Joshua) and were all born addicted to Meth & Lord only knows what else. A few weeks ago I was interviewed for a foster parenting podcast as our children were in foster care before we adopted them. I spoke in there about what I learned about drug exposure in eutro. Well, someone commented on their site that I was making too light of FAE – Fetal Alcohol Effects (commonly referred to now as FASD – Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). When I read their comment I thought, well, it’s only been mentioned once and in relation to the kid that has given me the LEAST of problems over the years.
But then Saturday night we had to bring home one of our son’s early from his sleepover because in helping his brother’s change the sheets in their room we found that he had stolen some things from me and was hiding them in his bed. This is an ongoing problem that we’ve been facing (along with others). We’ve been seeing a therapist for months now – he’s gone individually for a few months and finally Eric & I have been going too. We’ve come up with plans and replanned and regrouped and so on. We figured out that this last offense happened just an hour or so after our last therapy appt. It sort of brought home that this isn’t working.
And, his response to being found out? No remorse. No guilt. No. He’s angry at us. He rages. He’s defiant. He’s yelling and using bad language.
So, that night – I stayed up very late praying. I felt like everything we were doing was a joke. I asked God for direction and wisdom. And I remembered that commenter’s mention of FAE. So I turned on my laptop and did some research. And it really seems that this might be what we are dealing with. And, it means that we need more serious help. So after visiting his pediatrician yesterday and talking to his therapist, we are calling a psychiatrist today to get some more serious help.
Please pray for us. Please pray we can help him understand what is happening and why. Please pray for us as we look at our other 3 children and wonder about how this affects them too. Please pray for us to have strength, wisdom and patience.
And please praise the Lord for his comfort and grace and that we are NOT alone! Sunday in church I was able to connect with another mom who has dealt with this but now her daughter is grown up. Julie was such a blessing in that moment and has committed to coming to my house once a week to take the kids for a few hours to give me a chance to be refreshed. Even typing this up now makes me tear up that she would help in such a way. I pray that I can bless someone similarly when I am in that Season.
I think the hardest part for me right now is not knowing exactly how our lives will change…but knowing that it must and that it HAS to get better. It’s sort of scary right now.
Amy, you know we are with you in prayer and through life!!!! I really wish I was closer to give you physical support. Know I am here – whenever, day or night!!! A phone call can be an escape – LOVE YOU! B
Amy, you know I am here for you online. As a Mama to a daughter with FAE and a Mama to a son with mental illnesses 3 times over, I am praying for you!!!
Please feel free to email me anytime.
Amy, I am praying for your family. I truly hope the new doc will be able to address this situation head on. Julie sounds amazing and I am so happy you connected with her.
I will be praying for you and your family. I hope the psychiatrist helps.
(((((HUGS)))))
Amy, We are praying for you guys. Your family is always in my prayers, but now especially.
Love ya,
Christi ;+)
Amy, I will be praying. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. If or when you want to talk to someone who has or is going through this, I do know two Christian women with adopted children with FASD to varying degrees, one who has adopted a sibling group like you. Let me know. Otherwise, I will keep praying for you. I know your heart must be aching and I know He sees!
Wow, I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. Julia, what a blessing you are giving to Amy. I pray for wisdom and relief.
Praying for you all, Amy. I’d be interested in hearing how things are going for your friend with the adult daughter. I have a young adult family member that I’ve always thought probably has some undiagnosed fetal alcohol and attachment issues. She’s a chameleon and it’s just very hard to figure out what/if anything is genuine.
Even though you’re in a really rough place right now (and may be for some time), I think it’s good that you’re confronting this issue head on while you have some measure of control/influence over him. I pray that the Lord will guide you in how to reach your son where he is and how to find peace amongst all the turmoil.
(((hugs)))