Ok – if you think tattoos are evil – you’d better start praying for me! Right after Josh died one of my first instincts was to get a tattoo – a permanent memorial that would always be with me. My mom sort of freaked (ok – this is my intrepretation and it must be acknowledged that I was out of it at best) and took me to get his birthstone in earrings instead – and I wear them everyday. But I worry that I might loose them.
Pretty much the only things keeping me from already doing it are (1) design, (2) location and (3) price. I have no idea how much it would cost. I have no idea where to put it and I had no idea what design I wanted. Well, I think I know what design I want.
Well, I think I know …I want simple, modern nursing mother. Something similar to the logo for our local pregnancy support group (click on links to really see it). But I have no idea how much it costs or where I would put it. I don’t want it to show – it’s something just for me – but I want to be able to see it (so not on my back).
So, chances of me getting it are still pretty remote…but it’s an idea that has stuck with me since the afternoon of the day he died.
Think I’m losing it?
No, I don’t think you are losing it. Even though I would never care to get a tattoo, I understand your reasoning. The Bible says that Jesus bears the marks of His love for us on his hands and feet. So I think that you would be bearing the mark of love for your little son.
I think you should do whatever would help you feel that you have memorialized him. It is your body and your right to do what you wish with it! I like the logo and think you should do what is in your heart!
Amy, there was a really good article about tattoos and piercings in the Christian Research Institute magazine. A very brief summary was that tattoos in and of themselves are not moral or immoral. However, they are a “brand” which historically has signified “ownership” and devotion to a god or master. Leviticus is warning against these that are to a god. (we can’t serve two masters)The point was that the purpose and meaning behind a tattoo are the most important issues. What does it mean to you? How will it effect others (your testimony)? While I personally would not do a tattoo even in a similar situation, I don’t think you are crazy. But I would honestly seek God to see if this tattoo is a substitute for something I should be seeking from God or if it is something that is my way of expressing that I was, I am and I always will be Joshie’s Mom. If it’s the latter and it would not be a stumbling block to your testimony in Christ, your husband or your children, go for it. If you’re not sure, wait…no matter how expensive tattoos are to get, they’re way more to take off! Your Mom may be disappointed if you did it…but she won’t stop loving you! :o)
No, I don’t think you’re losing it… I actually think it’s a nice idea… Though I have heard that they are on the spendy side… I don’t know if I would have the nerve to do it myself, but that’s because me and needles are not on the best of terms.
What does your hubby say?
Nope, don’t think you’re losing it. I have three tattoos, all for very personal reasons (spiritual, emotional, and psychological), and I consider it to be a beautification of my body in tribute to the very things that drive me forward, and as an every day reminder of them. They do not take away from my spiritual relationship with my version of the divine, as I don’t see them as receiving “worship”.
I understand that some people have ideas about makeup, tattooing, etc being against God’s will according to the Old Testament, however those things should be considered with the weight of modern thinking behind them. Back in those times, tattooing *was* done for the veneration of other deities, whether divine or otherwise. There was not the social concept of tattoo’ing for personal reasons, and that is a very modern (post 1800’s) concept. Basically, prior to the invention of the electrical tattoo gun, it was all “divine” or “deity” oriented, but with the ease of tattooing now, they are more personal (and in most cases, less religious unless that is the intent of the recipient).
Some people make memorials. Some people sew or craft reminders. Some people write stories and poetry. Some people, like myself, use ink. It is all in the method of coping that you choose.
I think it is a lovely way to remember. And can never be lost, stolen or burned up in a fire. GO FOR IT. You may be the beginning of a business opportunity as well. Others in mourning may be interested in coming together and having a special place for these “types” of tattoos.
The fact that this has been in your head and heart for so long shows that this is not a kneejerk action or whim upon your part. I think that is a powerful indication that if you were to get a tattoo, it is a measured decision.
It is a good thing to remember loved ones. I understand your loss and your pain, and that you’re carrying it deeply inside you. I would add, however, that you do have several living sons to celebrate daily. How would they feel about this, in theory? When they are older, would they feel resentment than to get a place on mommy’s body, you have to die? I know it sounds twisted but it is amazing how children think, and how they can also carry imagined issues in their hearts and minds into adulthood.
You might want to consider a tattoo to symbolize your love for all your children?
Whatever you choose, however you decide to express this, I do not mean a criticism of your choice. There’s just some scarring in me that brought the above observation to mind. I think it is a lovely idea overall and I can not even imagine God saying “You don’t get into Heaven because you have a tattoo.” 😉
Actually, scratch that. My previous thought might have come across too emotional for all things considered. I tried my best to phrase it but, when driving home, I replayed it in my head and thought “Wow, I don’t think you meant the way that read.”
There’s an old Shirly Temple movie that I remember as one of the first movies I ever saw on TV as a child. I think it’s titled “The Bluebird of Happiness”. I recall one scene in which there’s a beautiful place with swan boats and happy children, and the question is asked of who all these children are, and what they are waiting for. The answer is that those children are all the souls of the children waiting to be born, and God is just watching for the right parent for them before sending them on their way.
Years later, when my son was maybe four years old, he told me that he was worried because he was starting to forget what God looked like. That really got me thinking — we’re all put together for such a brief time on this world.
So. You do what gives your heart solace, and what helps you remember. I still think it’s a lovely idea, and that you have definitely thought this through. You have gone through so much to have children, and have opened your heart so widely. When it comes to the end of the day, it’s what is in your heart that counts, and no one else’s opinion should matter.
A mother’s love and devotion has no boundaries, whether we have one or ten of them. Each child has his or her own special place of love and security. I think our children know this, deep down.
There. That’s what I really meant to say. 🙂
that was my first instinct when my cousin died too. it took me about a year to figure out exactly what, but i’m finally there. when all is said and done, i’ll have 28 (her age when she died) fall-toned maple leaves swirling around my right arm. if you want to know more about the significance of that, feel free to email me outside of this forum 🙂 and while a full arm piece might not be for you… it is a very strong and personal way to keep someone with you. i have the first 6 of the 28 leaves completed at this time, and… i just adore it. i’ve never regreted this once, and it helps me remember and be close to one of my very favorite people.
in terms of cost, the best way to find out is to make a ‘consultation’ visit to a local studio. where do you live? i’d be happy to help you find someone if you live in an area i’m familiar with. most artists have a “by the hour” rate, mine is $100/hr, so my arm piece will be roughly $700 by the time i’m done. complexity changes things a great deal, but on average… lets use a 3″ yin yang symbol as an example… that would probably run about $50-75. truly… if there’s anything else i can do, dont hesitate to ask.