We were leaving Sunday (after church and a BBQ at my FIL’s house – yummy) and my mom noticed that J3 had goosebumps in the 85plus degree weather and was burning up. We left anyway asking Jesus to keep satan away and let us have a good family adventure. At camp it was apparent that he was not getting better. He moaned most of the night and climbed into my sleeping bag – where there really is only room for me!!!
Today after lunch I started to fret about his fever not breaking and not being affected by the ibuprofen. We decided to go up the hill to our room (huff, puff) and pray about what to do. Well, J1 threw a complete FIT and I decided…we were going home. Everyone is very disappointed to be away from Daddy. We were able to see a Dr this afternoon and J3’s temp was 104 (YIKES!!) but he didn’t have anything else going on like ear infection or sore throat so we are thankful!
But we sure miss Daddy.

Someone stop the ride I want off!! It seems I’ve just been going from one wild experience to the next. Let me just share the highlights. Earlier this week we received confirmation that our oldest was diagnosed with ADHD. The first attempt at medications produced some VERY scary side effects. Please, if you don’t agree with giving our child medication – don’t share it with me. I’ve been beat up every which way this week. My husband and I have been in much prayer about this and have decided at this time that we will use this avenue to help us. It turns out that this was simple to fix, but watching my child become that manic was shocking.

Then today while ordering HS curriculum for son #2 I had to explain some of his special needs and what our current IEP is for his education. (this is a company that helps you choose curriculum from various publishers so they need to know a bit about your children) The lady starts to say my son is autistic. At first I’m humoring her – no one has ever suggested this before….but eventually I start to wonder and grow anxious. By the time I get off the phone I’m a mess. I know my boys were damaged in the womb, but I HATE labels! They are who they are…they are growing at THEIR rate and learning and I don’t want some silly label to define and limit them, but it appears everywhere I turn lately I’m faced with more labels. Now I realize how ridiculous she was thinking she could diagnose him over the phone based on my descriptions of how he communicates.

Today I also took son #3 to be evaulated by a team of special education teachers – I’m praying that his speech is his only issue – but I won’t know the end result for sometime due to their school schedule.

Don’t get me wrong there were some good times this week – I was able to get a pedicure and talk to the local YMCA about designing a webpage for them (bartering sports for the work! 🙂 But I feel like satan has realized that I’m vulnerable when it comes to my kids and he is doing his best to hurt me there. Or maybe this is just life and I’m not up for it!

I’m so glad we are going to camp next week – DH will be Camp pastor and we are along for the ride. There should be lots of opportunities for prayer together, reading and cuddling.

Tonight is one of those nights…everything is normal….but I notice the loss.

I wonder what one more boys voice would add to the chaos. I dream of watching Josh (who would be 3 now) play with J3 (4) in one room while the “Big Boys” play the game system in the other. I pretend I’m glad there is only three boys to clean up after, try to keep clothed and presentable.

My head tells my heart that we are doing ok. But there are nights like tonight where I can see, feel and hear the loss.

Check out this little poem my SP5 sent me:

And now its time for Silly Poetry with Froggie – the part of the e-mail
where Froggie comes out and writes some silly poetry.

Ahem.

Knitting is touch and sight,
Wool moving through hands as needles
Flash busily;
So we must care for the hands and heart
That labor over socks
And brush the childs forehead as you tuck him in
Goodnight.
The scheming Frog enfolds
Smell
And Taste
And Sound
Inside clouds of tissue paper and packing
And sends it away
To care for the busy
Knitting mom.

This has been Silly Poetry with Froggie. Tune in next time when Froggie
says:

Darnit, im out of wrapping paper!

Isn’t that fun! And, it just so happens that I actually started knitting again! I’m knitting a hat for DH – and of course, now all the boys want one – oh well, it’s going fast! 😉