I need to get myself back under control.

It started small.  It always does.

I’ve started comparing myself to others and, surprise, I come up short.

It’s been something I’ve been plagued with since our Seminary days.  I find a group of like-minded individuals and I love to spend time with them.  But then it starts.  I start to compare my abilities/gifts/priorities with my friends.  And, then I start to get down on myself.  No matter that I can’t play the piano, don’t have a size 2 body or the resources to spend every weekend in ministry to the homeless.  Bye-bye goes my contentment with who I am and what I do.

And, I’ve done this over and over again.

But nothing compares to the way I get down on myself about homeschooling.  Maybe because it’s such a big part of our life.  Or maybe it’s because what I do each day affects the boys and their futures!   I don’t really know.  But I’ve worked and worked on keeping a good attitude about what I do and how I do it.

I’ve found that for me to maintain a good attitude, I need consider the limits of my children, myself and our resources.

But still I find myself looking at others and wishing my life was different.  My children were different.  And even more, that I was different.

I hope to write more about this – and I pray I’m not the only one who struggles with this!!