In a Funk…

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I’m in a funk. Talking about Joshua seems to be the theme today. 🙁 I do ok except when I slow down and peek open the box. This box is a bit like Pandora’s. If I open it too wide I imagine that I will be overwhelmed with all the emotions, grief and pain I keep inside it. However, it must be pointed out that I’m willing to look into it more and more now. I am even realizing there are some good memories in there. But I must NOT wallow in there because there are children out here who need me to function!

Also, I’m in a funk because the OR caseworker seems to have taken a sick day and the foster mom, while giving me some day-to-day information on Princess’ care, said that she doesn’t think we’ll be able to get her for another 60-90 days!!!!?!!! Part of me calmly says “Now, Amy, don’t freak out. Remember that they just went to talk to the DA yesterday to see what they can do to expedite the placement. No one knows what was discussed or decided yet. This is just based on her experience.” And another part of me is … well, freaking out!

And, the meds that stopped the draining have now given me a headache. And, I’m whining. And, irritating myself! So, I’m shutting up now!

California – Check!

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I just got the call that we are good to go (well, minus one little signature that we can’t get until Monday) for California!!!!!  The caseworker in California will be calling Oregon today to let them know.

But, of course, me being super-eager me 😉 —- I already called! lol  Unfortunately she’s not in the office yet.  So, I’m waiting!! Can’t wait to tell her and find out what she learned in her appointments yesterday!

So, Mission: Pink Sheets is more important than ever! (who am I kidding – I just need to channel this nervous energy)

And, Momma, don’t worry – I’m ok – sleepy but ok!

Sheets – my nemesis?

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This weekend I caught my coworkers up on our situation and I shared the following:

So, hopefully I’ll have more answers later next week.
One thing that struck me as funny. I had set up our crib and stashed the car seat we’ve been loaned underneath it. I felt sort of presumptive – but I wanted to show that we had room. I knew it made sense, but I felt a bit silly having an empty crib in our house. She walked in our room. Looked at it. I was sure she was going to make a crack about ‘jumping the gun’ or something. She just looks at me and says – you have sheets, right? LOL I laughed out loud. I’d resisted the urge to buy sheets TWICE this week – not wanting to get ahead of myself!
Amy, who’s buying sheets today – PINK ones!!!! 😉

Saturday, Ruth, J3 and I hit Wal-mart (and a few other places lol) where I bought crib sheets! Sadly – no pink ones. I’ve measured and measured this crib mattress. I bought the sheets that say RIGHT ON THE PACKAGING that it is the right size. But they lied!! So, today I have to take sheets back to Wal-Mart.

And, then Sunday my sister-in-laws (Eric’s younger sister, Sue, and my brother’s wife, Christy) came to Target with me — who doesn’t want to go to Target?!?! 😉 and I found sheets just a bit bigger – but still listed as the correct size for my crib’s dimensions and PINK!! – but they are still too small! 🙁 So, I’m returning sheets to Target today too.

At this point, I’d buy a WHOLE new crib if I thought

  1. I could fit it in our room and
  2. I could find sheets for it!

I’m afraid to buy sheets online – imagine the chaos in returning them?!?! So, I’m going to try the local Penny’s and the semilocal Toys R Us (as soon as I can figure out where one is!?!). And, I’m going to quit getting so tired that the fact that I don’t have sheets is making me cry! If anyone is local and thinks of another place for me to look – please let me know!

PS Wednesday the Oregon caseworker meets with the D.A. and by Friday the California caseworker should have her report done! I think that means by late this week or next we’ll have more information on what will happen next!!

PPS I’m doing cloth diapers this time. If anyone has suggestions for knitted soaker/wrap patterns and yarn suggestions (affordable is a consideration) – please let me know! I want to get busy on some!

Thanks for letting me vent! 😉

Wow…that was anticlimatic

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The caseworker from California came today. She talked to us for awhile – and if we hadn’t been so chatty it might have been shorter – walked around our house with her clipboard, met our boys …. and was gone!

So…..um….now I guess we just wait for her to get our fingerprint results – 2-3 days – and write her report. Then she’ll send that report to Oregon (I think) and we’ll go from there. She said she’d call us next week. So, I guess we are back to waiting – but I was sure I’d have reams of paperwork to fill out all next week and I won’t!

I sort of feel deflated….thrilled, of course… but wow….that was it?!?

😉

How can it be Thursday already??

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This week is flying by!!  My mind is all a jumble…so here are some thoughts…in no particular order:

  • How weird am I think think that the caseworker will notice that my windowsills are clean?
  • Homeschooling J1 & J2 is going great!  Most days we’ve been done in plenty of time to spare.  Today, however, we’ve been focusing on company and the rest of the work (math) will be done tonight.  But there is another plus to homeschooling – blessing others can come first, the work will still be there!
  • Tonight is Tiger Scouts Den meeting.  No one has replied to the email I sent yesterday asking for a snack volunteer – or acknowledging receipt in any way.  I hope someone shows up!
  • I have a crib and an infant car seat in the house!
  • I’ve decided to cloth diaper – now to find out how to do it! 😉
  • Please pray for me blogless friend T – she’s got 3 weeks left in her pregnancy and she has Shingles. I can’t fathom the pain she must be in!  She and her son, A, spent sometime here today – I was hoping it was a nice distraction for them both.
  • Went to dinner with another couple last night – sooo nice not to have to cook! And, Lemon Supreme pie for dessert!  YUM!!
  •  Before I go to bed tonight I need to – finish laundry folding, mop the kitchen floor, clean the tub (yeah…still not done!) and dust the living room.
  • I want CHOCOLATE!!!!

Sorry this was so random and quick…that’s my brain right now!!  Hoping I have something interesting to share after tomorrow’s visit!