Sundays – Quiet?

by ⋅ 4 Comments

Well, we are home again today. My psoriasis is so bad that I don’t want to go to church. I know – it sounds lame – but it is so painful and looks so bad. And, guess what? Though it’s a chronic problem – it turns out stress can cause a flareup – oh joy!! So today and following days I’m going to concentrate on having a more peaceful home.

I know I’ve been quiet online…but I’ve been keeping busy. Lots of work….LOST is back…knitting, of course (more on that next) and I even started a webpage for our Cub Scout Pack. J1 enrolled in Boy Scouts too – so we are getting more involved. DH took on the Asst Cubmaster position for J2’s pack — next year, Lord willing, we’ll have two boys in that pack. And, we found out yesterday that a good friend of J1’s might transfer to his Troop – we hope so!

ON THE NEEDLES:

  • Mom’s Sweater – Still need to block it. Problem is room! But I think I’ll ask her if I can use some space at her house. She’s anxious to have it so it might work out.
  • Socks – I’m knitting some socks for my niece, Annika. They are some funky greens that she liks. Toe-up, magic loop – just need to finish the legs.
  • 5 Hour Baby Sweater – started my third. First two were as in the pattern..for a newborn (8-10 pounds). But I wanted to try bigger. So, talked to my friend Ruth and we figured well, just double it but it seems HUGE! I’ll keep you updated!
  • Lace – Tried to start a shawl, but kept messing up – guess I need a quieter environment – maybe later.

Today, Lets Knit2gether put out a new video podcast. This time on beaded knitting – I see great gift potential here! Check it out!

Overwhelming sadness

by ⋅ 6 Comments

Today I woke up with overwhelming sadness. Not about Joshua. No, my sadness is more centered on J2 (of course, then it encompasses my whole life). He’s my 10 yr old with learning disabilities in the language area.

He still struggles to read 3 letter words. And, he must decode them as we go. Even if he just decoded h-a-s he’ll act as if he’s never seen it before in the next sentence. Working with Phonics Pathways does seem to be helping him….but his dad has not noticed it. Last night his dad shared some of his concerns with me and now I’m soooo upset. I was feeling so good about things – yes, we are slow, but we are making progress.

But now I think I’m just fooling myself. He’s 10 yrs old – for Crying out loud! I’ve been working with him since he was 4 to learn his letters. I’d take off time from time to time – praying that his ability would catch up with my desire.

What will become of him? How can I help him? Why can’t God just fix him? I need a boost of optimism and joy!

More on birthdays

by ⋅ 1 Comment

Last night I stumbled upon a TLC special on the Jeub family. One of the things they showcased was their “Birthday Bash“. Now, we only have three children at home – but one birthday is 2 wks after Christmas and one birthday is 2 wks before. ugh! No one gets a good birthday then. And, I love the idea of a more intimate, focused day on their actual birthday. I’m thinking that the summer – when Daddy is home and pools are available – we are going to do this! 🙂

Numbered Days

by ⋅ Leave a Comment

Today, for work, I was coding articles from the WInter 06/7 issue.  The Chapel article is entitled “Numbered Days” – written by Marla Novak.  This article is really blessing me today.  I can sooooo relate as a mother who’s lost a child and gained a renewed eternal perspective!

If you are awaiting your copy – read this article first! If you don’t subscribe – and you homeschool – you need to!! lol  But if you can’t for some reason – wait a few months and I’ll be putting this article online.

How grief affects all of us

by ⋅ 3 Comments

Today, J2 and I are relaxing in the living room after school and chores. I’m knitting and listening to a knitting podcast and he is watching some cartoon on the tv. He turns to me and says, “Mom, if Josh was still alive and we could get that stone, it could all be better.” I guess some cartoon had a magical stone that could bring alive the dead. I replied something along the lines of – that would be nice, but it’s not real.

He reflects on that for a minute and then says, “Mom, how do they get him in that box?” There is no way to answer that one. How do you explain something like that? Or the real question – what does he really want to know? Does he really want to know what happened to Joshua’s body or something else less technical but more emotional? Since I don’t know and I’m struggling not to cry, I tell him that we’ll talk about it when he’s a little older. He, agreeable as always, accepts that answer. I start crying anyway.

I wish I knew how to handle times like this better. I try to be honest…but I still have trouble getting the words out of my mouth when it’s a question like this. I need to remember that the boys are grieving just like us – it just looks different. Though they were only 8, 6 and 2….they still had a big loss. Not just their brother…but their mom too to some extent.