I’ve really hesitated to share this post online…I’m not wanting to expose myself and yet I’m so excited about what I think I see happening that I want to shout it out to everyone!
Those who have known us a very long time know that one of our sons causes us lot of heartache. He is a trial. He is the sweetest boy you’d ever want to meet – if you don’t live with us. But if you were his family member, you would know that he is mad, intolerant and contrary. He never accepts no for an answer and throws a tantrum at the first sign of not getting his way. Most recently even a simple “good morning” from us generated a reply of “Don’t speak to me!” practically snarled.
We have tried every form of parenting out there and prayed continually that the Lord would allow us to have a normal relationship with this son.
Recently he started to lose privileges one by one…until he is only allowed out of his room for meals and to use the bathroom. We took away all his electronics and tv/computer privileges.
It seemed that it was only hurting us. My mother’s heart was so sad and I craved time with him. He blissfully put puzzles together or played with army men and seemed to care less that the family was out here…without him…missing his smile. I feared that he was getting what he wanted and we were being punished not him. I kept praying.
From time to time he and his father would have long talks. But when he was then sent back to his room he would throw a fit again. I think he thought if he was polite for a few minutes we would go back to the way we were.
But then – after a particularly hard morning where he was SO hateful that I was in tears – my husband said – “you know what, I don’t want to take him on vacation with us. Find out who he can stay with”. I gasped. I was so shocked. I didn’t want to make the calls. But our son heard and I think it started to sink in. He started trying. He was polite and helpful and seemed to want to be with us.
And, last night…last night I think we had a breakthrough. His Grammy came for dinner. He was with the family during dinner. We had a great time at dinner. We told stories and he told us about his day. His dad bragged on him – his teacher told dad that everyone wanted to be his study partner. And…then he had to go back to his room. I was sad but encouraged by the things I was seeing. He asked to speak to his dad. He apologized and said he realized he needed a mom and a dad. He cried – real tears! He’ll often cry – but there are no tears just lots and lots of noise. I don’t want to say he was broken because that is so negative. But well, I can’t think of a better word.
He was allowed to come out and watch a movie with us. He was told he had to sit with me and not jump around. He was practically in my lap the whole time. He cried a bit and told me he loved me many times. I rubbed his back and told him I ALWAYS love him – good and bad times. Happy and sad times. He went happily to bed, on time, after joining his brothers in a tickle-monster game with Daddy – something he hasn’t done in years. He was too busy being grumpy.
This morning I was a bit afraid that last night was a dream. But he got right up and was cheerful and loving all morning!!
I’m taking this hour by hour – but my heart is just sooo full of joy! I just had to share it!!
