Thankful for distractions!

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The day started pretty rough.  We didn’t make it to church when I suddenly realized what today was and sort of lost it.  I got it together, but there was no way I wanted to be anywhere other than home.  I posted Joshua’s picture here and so enjoyed all your prayers and well wishes.  It’s so nice to know I’m not alone in remembering him.

We had arranged for my Sister and Bil-ly to come visit today to help with taxes and talk about possible house projects.  I was so thankful they came even though their youngest had to go to Grandma’s house as she had a fever – poor thing.

We ended up having a nice visit, getting our taxes done (pending just one item) and having a nice meal.  We talked about our big vacation in 2010 (Williamsburg & Washington DC) and lots of other fun stuff.   (Any vacation suggestions are very welcome – we can’t wait to start learning about what Virginia has to offer us!)

Then my friend, Trina, surprised us by bringing over a lovely purple hydragea! I love it! I can’t wait to plant it in the front yard.

And, just now I was surfing blogs and saw that my friend Theresa is buying a house – in California!!  We met about 5 years ago in a Quilting class.  Ever since then, I’ve sort of grieved over the fact that someday she’d move back home to Washington….and maybe she still will…but at least this means she’ll be here a bit longer! I’m so tickled that I can’t stop smiling!  She’s one of those people who just lights up your life!  Is it bad that I’m a wee bit sad her house isn’t closer to me?  Now I’m just being greedy!

So, while today is a day I dread every year – and tears were shed – I’m soooo thankful for family and friendships that help distract me!

Warning: Depression Ahead

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I’m learning that this time of year I can get very sad.

Eric is decorating.  He loves all things Christmas.  In his family Christmas was a part of the “goody-goody season” that started on his birthday in early November and included siblings’ birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Nonstop festivities and family.

I have great memories of Christmas too.  But I also can’t help but wish Joshua was here too.  There should be a 6 yr old here in addition to our 1.5, 7, 12 and 13 yr olds.  Added to my sadness today is that I saw Joshua’s picture at my mother-in-laws on Thursday and I didn’t recognize him.  How could I not even recognize him?  The very thought just makes me feel so sad.

Every year at this time I start to get sad about the time we decorate.  I am learning to just give myself time to grieve and then get on with enjoying the kids and trying to make memories of them.  So, here is your warning….You will probably be hearing a bit more about my grief walk as we go forward.  I’m so thankful for a way to process all my emotions.  Thanks for letting me share them!