I’m learning that this time of year I can get very sad.
Eric is decorating. He loves all things Christmas. In his family Christmas was a part of the “goody-goody season” that started on his birthday in early November and included siblings’ birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Nonstop festivities and family.
I have great memories of Christmas too. But I also can’t help but wish Joshua was here too. There should be a 6 yr old here in addition to our 1.5, 7, 12 and 13 yr olds. Added to my sadness today is that I saw Joshua’s picture at my mother-in-laws on Thursday and I didn’t recognize him. How could I not even recognize him? The very thought just makes me feel so sad.
Every year at this time I start to get sad about the time we decorate. I am learning to just give myself time to grieve and then get on with enjoying the kids and trying to make memories of them. So, here is your warning….You will probably be hearing a bit more about my grief walk as we go forward. I’m so thankful for a way to process all my emotions. Thanks for letting me share them!
(((hugs))) Sorry you are having a hard time right now. I will be praying for you.
{{{Hug}}} It’s okay to let yourself grieve. I’m glad you have found this way to deal with some of the feelings. I am praying for you.
Oh Amy, ((hug)). Praying for you.
Amy I so wish there were a magic word I could say or a magic blanket I could give you to wrap you up in to protect you. I wish. I’m so sorry.
I get the feeling you didn’t recognize Josh in the picture because you weren’t expecting him. You go into a familiar place and you expect familiar surroundings the all the usual things. You don’t expect to be caught off guard and see something that #1 – sends sorrow and grief and #2 – makes you uncomfortable. You were expecting another child in that picture. I don’t think you want to be reminded and I don’t blame you at all, especially this time of year.
I wish I wasn’t so far away, I’d go over and hug ya! Then I’d eat your food and make fun of your hubby! LOL Man I miss you guys! In the mean time wrap yourself up in the boys and Eric and your knitting and just in general keeping busy. This time of year always goes quick (for me, anyway) and keeping busy should make it go quicker.
I can’t even imagine how hard this time of year would be. 🙁
(((((HUGS)))))
I’m so sorry. I also wish I had magic words to heal your pain. I’m here anytime you want to talk, cry, laugh or just sit.
Oh Amy, you know how hard I’m praying for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thinking of you. I had an incident with a family member regarding my grief and then I came on and read this last night. Once again, your grief has comforted me – weird I know. I will be praying for you.