Well, I just waved goodbye to J3 and Daddy as they left for school. Not only was J3 up early today, but he showered and went to bed without complaint last night! I’m trying to be happy for him as he is thrilled to be back with his friends. But I’m so frustrated! I want him here with me! But just wanting something to be a certain way isn’t enough reason to keep doing something that isn’t working. It wasn’t that homeschooling wasn’t working – it was! But J1 has really directed a lot of his anger at J3. The name calling, the shoving, and all the unpleasantness – it just was not working out.
My head knows that giving the two of them some distance is a good thing. My head is VERY, very thankful that we have an option for him to be with Daddy in a wonderful Christ-centered school at no cost to our family. My head recognizes that as much as I want to homeschool everyone – I truly have my hands full with J1 and J2’s special needs. And, now that we are most likely going to be adding more appts to our week, I’ll be running around even more.
But my heart is sad. It wants to keep trying. It wants all my little chicks safely in my view. It wants to believe that I will somehow develop supermom skills to simultaneously change a diaper, refree a disagreement, teach phonics, prepare the science experiment, clean house, update my work spreadsheet…and all with a song on my lips and a smile on my face. My heart needs a reality check!
(((HUGS))) I’m sure it will all work out, but I know that you miss having him home with you… Sometimes being a parent is hard, huh?