Sorry I haven’t written sooner – it was due in part to needing to process my thoughts and in part because we’ve had company. My Dad and Stepmom are here for their biannual visit. It’s nice to be distracted at a time like this.
The test results were and were not a surprise. Basically, J2 is about 2 years behind his age – both academically and psychologically. That was not a surprise. However, hearing it confirmed was still hard. Their recommendation is that he be enrolled in a special day class in the public school system. I really think that would be a bad idea for him. But I’m not sure I have my husband’s support (edited to clarify – I mean–I think we aren’t on the same page about J2’s education.).
Through the help of the Christian Home Educator’s email list – I found out about a private school in the Bay Area that gives support and curriculum consultation services to parents of special needs kids who want to keep them at home. I’ve applied for their waiting list, but I have not heard from them yet.
I’m glossing over lots of details…lots of pain….maybe I’ll talk about it more later. Right now I just need to keep praying and letting the Lord speak to my heart. I covet your continued prayers!
If I can offer some thoughts… Boys mature slower than girls anyway. 2 years behind his age psychologically, compared to what/whom? Other boys his age? Other children his age? Other children his age that were born from a substance-abuse mother? By whose standard was this reached, would be my first hard question.
Why would it be a bad idea for J2 to be in public school? What kind of apprehensions do you have?
For example: Up here in Lake Arrowhead, our schools are blue ribbon schools and our classroom sizes are very small. We’re blessed to be ‘safe’ due to our community, location, etc. We don’t have gangs, no one is beating up anyone up over lunch money, etc. and so forth. However, if we were to move to a larger and more urban community, our son would be in private school or, if I could swing it, home schooled. My apprehension is not the experience, but the environment dictated by those around him. I reserve the right to be my child’s parent and make those decisions.
When our son was enrolled in Kindergarten, the teacher tried to tell me (on the 2nd day!) that he should not be in school. She said he was too young (he’s an October baby, so right on the edge) and too small overall compared to the other kids. I had faith in my son and his preschool time; I knew that he was academically able but possibly not socially able. I volunteered in class (a lot) and kept him in school. Now he’s in 4th grade and in advanced placement class, and he’s a tall kid as well as socially popular. To top that off, he’s BORED with school. He gets the work done in class, hardly ever brings home homework.
I think that if I had held him back I would have hurt him. By pushing him out there, and also providing the safety net, I think I helped him.
Maybe you could put J2 out there and be the safety net? Put him in school for a semester, volunteer in class? I know it would be hard with then other boys home-schooled, but maybe J2 needs a nudge?