This week I started to feel bad about the fact that we couldn’t offer the children various lessons that many HSers in our area are taking advantage of – like fencing, karate, music, art, etc. In fact, I was getting pretty serious about joining a local charter school – sure I’d give up some of my freedom (we have alot in Calif) but I wanted the lesson/curriculum money!

As I talked to DH I explained my struggle and he put his foot down as the charter school required a minimum of 4 hours per school day regardless of age. This would not work for us right now. And, I realized, as we talked, that I hadn’t asked the Lord to meet this need. A few minutes later I remembered that our oldest told us that the Jr church music leader had told J1 he’d teach him how to play guitar if he got a guitar. And, then that afternoon a fellow HSer had said, we have a student guitar handy if you need it. I hadn’t told her what I was thinking about the charter schools because I knew she wouldn’t approve!

I started to get excited and realize that even though I hadn’t told the Lord yet, He was already working thing out to meet this need. I did a little research this week and found out that the going rate is $85/mo for weekly 1/2 hr lessons. 🙁 But I figured God wanted me to trust Him to provide this money. Today DH talked to the Jr church music leader and he said he’d love to teach J1 and that he doesn’t accept any money – it’s his ministry! God provided again!!

And, we found out that the boys can take karate at the local parks and rec for $20/mo each – and since we don’t have to pay for music lessons, we can afford these lessons! Yeah!!

And (as if that wasn’t enough!) I found out for $50 we can get a family membership at the Davis Art Center which gives us $10 off all lessons – anything from drawing to painting to knitting to drama and dance! Most classes are $40-50 so it’s going to be more expensive….but it might be well worth it!

Praising the Lord for His provision!!!

Saturday night I was sure I’d never live through Sunday. I was so scared to wake up and remember my baby has been gone for 1 whole year. I remembered how hard the first month had been….his first birthday without any celebration….the day I realized he’d been gone longer than he’d been with me….and I was sure there was no way I’d live through it.

But I woke up and felt … insulated. It was like nothing could really penetrate. At first I was worried that I had shut down and was really worried I was losing it. But then I realized I was peaceful. I began to realize that the Lord was protecting me. And, I am so thankful….

Thank you all for your prayers during this time!

We miss you Joshie and we look forward to being reunited with you!

I was just surfing around like a do sometimes and I typed “Joshie” into a Google search – and then clicked on images. About halfway down I was shocked to see a picture of MY joshie in their listing! I didn’t realize that they did this! I’d heard of search engines where you could search for images, but I really never thought about the implications!!! I’m still pretty upset about this – it was so shocking! 🙁

It’s almost been a year since we lost Joshie. I wanted a new look for my journal – and was so excited to find this webset. I’ve never paid for a webset before but as soon as I saw it, I recognized how perfect it was for my blog! It came with so many backgrounds that I’m sure I’ll never use them all!

I think I’m doing pretty good considering this is the month we lost Josh last year. I’m constantly surprised at how fresh the pain seems and how distant the memories. Just a week or so ago, we found a picture of Josh, his brothers and my niece & nephew that we didn’t realize we had taken. It was taken about a month before he died. 🙁

Now that I’ve made myself cry…I’m going to cut this short. Hope you enjoy the new look. I’ll try to write more tomorrow.