I’m feeling a bit down. My birthday can do that to me. I always struggle with dates that put me in the center of attention. On one hand, I want the recognition, the love and validation. But on the other hand I struggle with believing that I am worthy of it or that anyone will want to celebrate with me. So then I try to act like I don’t really want to do anything special. But then I get my feelings hurt when nothing happens. lol Yeah, I’m a mess! Poor Hubs!
But I’m also weary which always contributes to my low moods. Sissy has been waking up 15 min after we go to bed. We’ve comforted her, tended to her and then hoped she’d go back to sleep. No luck! So, she’s spent the last 3 nights in our bed. And, she’s a bed hog and a kicker.
Also, I talked to the assistant to our adoption lawyer today – and she said it will take 6-10 weeks just to get our paperwork!!! The case she’s working on right now took 3 mos. Please understand, this is not to finalize the adoption, it is to just get their hands on our paperwork to start the process. Then it will be a few weeks of sending documents back and forth for signatures and then it will get filed in the court system. That will be another waiting time. And, then – hopefully sometime this fall – we’ll get a letter saying it’s done!
Just typing this out makes me want to cry. Really she’s already our daughter…but we want to be done with different names and silly paperwork. We love our caseworker, but it would be nice to see her a whole lot less often. It would be nice to know we are done.
Maybe I should go try to get a nap.
Is it almost your birthday? Is it today? Whenever it is happy birthday! I know how you feel about acting like it doesn’t matter and then being hurt when someone doesn’t do something special. I have had to kinda take it into my own hands the last couple of years and it works out well – I do that with Mother’s Day too – LOL!
You know… I always feel the same way on my birthday… I am a mess too! *sigh*
But know that you ARE worthy! Happy Birthday!
Hope the adoption goes faster than you expect!
*hugs*
Amy – All I can say is, “Don’t give up”. There are so many times during the course of a day that I want to give up – give up training the kids, give up feeling hopeful, give up trying to do the right thing, etc. As Elisabeth Elliot says, “Do the next thing”. That always keeps me from completely falling apart in despair.
You are worthy to have your family and friends fuss over you on your birthday. You are a beautiful, loving mom, and most importantly a precious child of God.
Happy birthday (soon)!
Jenn
You just need to come up here and have a b’day girls day with me. We did it down at your house last year – remember pedicures, shopping (kid free) & a yummy dinner???? Do I need to come down there and make sure you are pampered correctly, or will you come up?????? Where did the summer go??????? Love you sis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!