Today isn’t just another Thursday.

Today is hard.

Today Joshua would have been 12 years old.

There are no banners.  There is no cake.  There are no cards from family from far away.

There is only tears.

And “what ifs” and “if onlys”.

I was going to try to do what was needed and expected and act like this is just another day.

But it’s not.

And, I can’t.