Everyone is home today – and the sun is shining! So we are going to get outside and trim some bushes, weed some flower beds and just enjoy the moment.

I hope the sunshine will help my mood. I look at my boys and can’t get over the fact that Josh is missing. He’d be 2 yrs and 8 mos old. He’d be able to hold his own out there with his brothers…probably screaming just as loud as they are on the trampoline.

DH wants to do something to recognize 2/22 – but I just want to get through it. He mentioned taking the day off and I would welcome that, but I can’t go out to the gravesite – I haven’t since the first year – and we can’t afford to go away anywhere. Besides, I can miss him here easier than I can away from home. If I need to sit and cry quietly all day…what’s wrong with that? At least I wouldn’t look like a fool crying in public.

But I recognize that we grieve differently and it’s not all about me. He needs to put actions into his grief. It’s something that I can’t undestand…but visiting Josh’s grave gives him peace – and making sure there are always flowers there is a big deal to him. But me…I want to be alone on the hard days. I want to write about my loss and then try to leave it there so that I can present a calm demeanor to the family.

Well, enough of this! I’ll try and write later today with an update on all my knitting projects! God, I can’t wait for February to end!

Yesterday, the server that my website is on went down in a blaze of glory! OH NO! But there were backups! YEAH!! But they were from last Saturday! OH NO!!!!

The posts weren’t all that…but the comments….oh, the comments were priceless. It’s the support I’ve gotten from writing about my grief and loss that helps me go on…and now they are all lost. 🙁

I’m not longer a split personality!!! It was becoming very hard to blog with three different blogs! When I heard about MT and the ability to categorize posts – it sounded perfect and it really is! The only problem is moving posts and comments to this site. But it’s work I’ll gladly put up with in order to gain a bit of ease to blogging! And, those of you who know me as BelovedLamb or KnitnMom or Quiltnmom – now you can learn more about me, my family and ALL the things who make me who I am. 🙂

Earlier this week we had The Meeting to start the process to have J2 assessed for learning disabilities. I never did get a moment to write up anything and I really wanted to sort of ‘record’ the experience.

I met with our teacher, Brandy, a psychologist, Linda, the special ed specialist, Kathy and another woman observed our meeting for a class she is taking (with my approval of course). It reminded me of every team meeting I had in Oregon when J3 was getting occupational therapy — so that was nice.

We started by listing all J2’s strengths – which only Brandy and myself could do as they havent’ as yet met him. Then we addressed our concerns and what we had done to try to address them. Then they listed questions they heard me address or they had themselves – things like:
:: Clarify what are realistic expectations
:: What is his visual discrimination like?
:: Inability to pronounce still an issue?
:: Comprehension is not evidenced in language
and then we brainstormed ideas to help.

It was interesting – I thought you would identify his weakness and then focus there. But they said, no, we focus on what he is good at and then approach his weakness slowly – gaining confidence as we go. Totally makes sense now.

Some strategies we are going to take are:
:: Story board (I’ll tell him a simple story/sentences) and he’ll create a story board or comic strip.
:: Pantomine – showing comprehension
:: Salt tray writing – also sand paper letters, writing on his back or palm
:: Labeling the house – much like you would for someone learning a new language. As he approaches the door and sees “door” he’s brain will connect them.
:: Picture books with words (similar to a dictionary) to do the same as above.
:: Draw a picture – write a sentence (me), J2 copies it, then reads it (I “shadow read” if necessary). Bind them to create a book that he can ‘read’ each day.

Then we will be setting up some tests – They are going to assess his speech and language – mainly expressive language and his vocabulary. They are also going to check his ‘phonemic awareness’. They are going to be calling me today to schedule those.